The Many sides of a father
by chaelzbellz
Summary: I like kiddie fics & John. I think he's a complex character & in my other story I don't use him a lot. This is a fic about the kids growing up & includes a lot of his influence on them as well as the other father figures they have. The ages jump around
1. Chapter 1

A/N: So I like kiddie fics a lot and I like John Winchester. I think he's such a complex character and with my other story "Becca Winchester" I don't get to write him a lot. So I thought I would write a fic about the kids growing up with him. The ages are going to jump around. Each little section will have a different part of John or a different part of what his children feel about him. Also I am including Becca from my other story in it as one of his children.

The many sides of a father

Becca 5

Sam 10

Dean 14

The sound of small feet paddled along the tile as Becca entered the living room. The five year olds big brown eyes looked up at her two older brothers. "Hi." She said and went to her father's room. It wasn't long before she returned and stood in front of the TV to face her brothers. "Where's Daddy?" She asked.

"He's in the kitchen." Ten year old Sam said. "Becca would you move. Do you think your made of glass?"

"Glass?" She asked, confused.

"Sammy's just being silly Becca." Dean said.

"Oh." Becca smiled and headed for the kitchen.

"Hi Daddy." She smiled.

"Morning little girl." John smiled back. "You hungry?" Becca nodded. She lifted her arms and he picked her up. "Okay, we have Cheerios, and Raison Bran." John placed her onto the counter. "So what'll it be?"

"Pancakes!" She decided happily. Dean smirked as he walked into the kitchen. John usually wasn't a very lenient man. Most of Dean's early childhood he'd had Mary to calm him down. Sam always was a naturally quiet child and was smart enough to realize at an early age that temper tantrums would get him nowhere. It wasn't until recently that he'd began questioning his father. But it wasn't until Becca that John had to soften himself. There was no getting around that. She was a girl and although she was being molded into a soldier, there was something about being his baby and only daughter that made John weak. So he could deal with some tantrums, and the boys helped with the rest.

"Becca, was pancakes a choice today?" John asked. Becca shook her head. "Okay then."

"But Daddy," She whined "I want pancakes. I want chocolate pancakes and bacon and eggs!"

John sighed and put his face into his hands. Everything always had to be complicated with this kid. Dean was always so obedient. She must have gotten this from Sam. Dean could recognize the patience draining from his fathers face. "I got it Dad." He said. "Hey Becca, you wanna play a game?" She nodded. Dean poured the Raison Bran into two bowls. "Let's pretend these are pancakes and the raisons are chocolate chips."

"Okay!" Becca said enthusiastically. "Daddy you wanna play?"

John smiled. God did he love this little girl. "Yeah, honey. I'll play."

The phone rang out in the living room. "Hello." Sam was heard saying. "Yes Pastor Jim, he's here." Sam came into the kitchen and handed John the phone. "Dad it's Pastor Jim."

"Hello? Yes… Um about an hour. I'll call you when I get there. Thank you." John said and hung up. He pulled on his coat. "I should be home by tomorrow morning. Dean you're in charge. Take care of your brother and sister."

"Yes sir." Dean said.

"Sammy, listen to your brother. Don't give him any trouble, you got me?"

"Yes sir." Sam said.

"I'll see you tomorrow, little girl." John said kissed her forehead and headed for the door.

"Wait Daddy." Becca said. She grabbed a bowl of cereal and handed it to him. "Don't forget your pancake!"

"Thank you honey."

Becca 6

Sam 11

Dean 15

"What are you doing?" Dean screamed. He grabbed the bottle out of the little girls hands. She coughed a little bit. "Where did you get this?"

"Daddy left it in the refrigerator. We don't have no more orange juice." She said. "It burned my throat Dean."

Dean looked at the Vodka bottle. "How much did you drink Becca?"

"Just a sip. It burned Dean." She repeated.

"I know it did. That's what it does." He put the bottle on the top shelf. Dean knelt down in front of his sister and took one of her hands. "Becca you are never ever to drink that stuff. It's very bad for you. Do you hear me?" He emphasized his point by adding two sharp smacks to her hand.

"Ow! What'd I do?" She asked with glossy eyes.

"If I catch you even near that again you wont sit down for a month. You hear me?"

"I wont touch it, honest! I didn't mean to be bad. Don't be angry at me." She cried.

Hearing her words, Dean immediately felt badly. He didn't want to yell at her and he certainly didn't mean to hit her. She was just a kid and even though the Winchester kids grew up fast, Becca was still sheltered most of the time. But the sight of her with that bottle in her hand drove him over the edge. "Listen Becca, you are not bad. Okay? That stuff…That stuff is very bad. It will hurt you okay?"

"If it's bad then why does Daddy drink it?" Becca asked.

"Because…" That was a hard question, because even he didn't know the answer. "Because it makes Daddy forget sad things for a little bit. But only for a little while. And then the sadness comes back… It comes back worse than before… Anyway I don't want you to drink it ever again."

She nodded. "I wont."

Sometimes Dean really wanted to scream at his father. He should have been around. He shouldn't have left guns and alcohol around where his six year old little sister could get to them. He should have cared. Then Dean would always wipe the thoughts from his mind. His father did care. Of course he did. He wasn't around because he had evil to fight and was avenging their mother's murder. And the alcohol… he needed it to get by. To numb the pain. Dean bushed away her tears. "Good… Um, we should go to the store and uh, get you some juice and maybe something for dinner. I don't think Dad's coming home tonight."

"Okay."

A/N: what do you think. More than likely i'm going to start to jump around with the ages so jump to teens and then maybe back to when Mary was alive and then maybe some Sam John fights. Any thoughts? I hope you like it!


	2. Chapter 2

Dean-20

Sam-16

Becca-11

None of them new exactly when it would start, but it was definitely always an escalating pattern. It would initiate with a few small pranks (some saran wrap over the toilet here, a kick me sign there) and then one of them would go overboard (like tacks in a shoe) and John would put an end to it…for a while.

If score was being kept, this would be the first time in a long time that Sam had the lead. Sure Dean tied his shoe laces together when he wasn't looking and put a stink bomb in his backpack, but Sam had definitely beat him when he put X-lax in Dean's hot chocolate.

"Whatcha waiting on little girl." John asked seeing his daughter standing outside of the bathroom.

"Sam." She groaned. "He's been in there forever."

John laughed. Recently (thanks to some God awful tweenage movie she'd seen at a friends house) his daughter had been claiming that everything took "Forever" or "an eternity." He thought if she used the phrases "as if" and "whatever" one more time, he'd blow his brains out. "What have I told you about your patience young lady." John said.

"But DADDY he got out of the shower like half an hour ago. Sam!" Becca screamed as she banged on the bathroom door. "Other people have to go too, you know?"

"Go away Becca!" Sam screamed from inside. John knocked on the door. "I said go away Becca! Don't make me come out there or I'll melt your barbie's face off!"

"Sam!" John yelled.

"Oh." Sam said. "Sorry Dad. I didn't know it was you."

"Well whats going on in there?"

"Um… Nothing." Sam lied.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes sir."

"Well then come on out. Your sister said you've been in there an hour."

"But Dad…"

"Samuel if there's a reason why you're in there, then tell me. If not then you have three seconds to open this door. One, two…" the door opened.

"Oh my God." John and Becca both said. They gaped as Sam walk toward them.

"I don't know what happened. I was in the shower. Everything was fine. And then my-my head started tingling and so I rinsed out the shampoo and when I did it my hair started… falling out."

"It's… it's okay son. It's gonna be alright."

"Alright? Dad look at me." Sam said miserably.

"Oh come on. It doesn't look THAT bad." John lied.

"Yeah Sammy." Becca said. "And I mean even if it did look really weird, like REALLY weird, we could always get you a wig."

"Uh, thanks Becca." John knew she was honestly trying to help.

"I just… I just don't understand how this could have happened." Sam said. He looked like a lost puppy.

"Pizza's here!" They all turned to face Dean who walked in with the pizza. "What?" He asked until his eyes settled on Sam. He couldn't help but crack a smile.

"You did this?" Sam asked. Dean nodded. "You're a fricken jerk."

Dean- 19

Sam- 15

Becca-10

Becca ran as fast as she could, but the beast was right on her tail. "Help!" She screamed. She finally saw the car in the distance when the creature tackled her. She tried to fight, but since it was roughly three times her size it pinned her to the ground. She closed her eyes and screamed. Suddenly there were three gunshots and she felt the beast fall off of her. "Becca!" Sam screamed and ran over to her.

"Sammy?"

"I am so sorry Becca. You're gonna be okay, alright? Dad!"

Soon John and Dean ran out from another point in the woods. "What happened?" Dean asked.

"There was a cave or something a-and I thought it was in there so I told Becca to wait for me outside and then she was…" Sam tried to explain.

"You never leave your sister alone!" John barked getting the girl into the car.

"Dean, it hurts so bad." Becca cried with her head resting on his lap.

"Oh, I know it does. Just hold on a little bit longer. Can you do that for me?" He said and thanked God that they had rented a house in the town for his job.

"Samuel do you have any idea about the consequences of your actions!" John grumbled.

"I know, sir. I'm sorry I just thought…"

"No! We stick to the plan. ALWAYS! You could have gotten her KILLED back there."

"She's going to be alright, isn't she Dad?" Dean asked.

"We're gonna get her home."

In the longest five minutes of his life, John Winchester finally made it to the house they were renting. "Dean put on some water to boil!" he ripped open her shirt. Seeing her wound broke his heart. Not just because his daughter was hurt, but because of what he would have to do to fix it. "Sam, go get the steel rod out of a drawer and put it over the stove."

"Yes sir." Sam obeyed.

"Daddy?" Becca wept.

"Becca I'm sorry honey. It's deep and could be…I have to cauterize this." She grimaced. She'd only seen it done once to Dean and even he couldn't help screaming.

Dean brought in the water and some rags. John began to clean the areas around the wound. Sam brought in the hot poker. "You boys are going to have to hold her down." Their father ordered.

"Can't we giver her something?" Dean asked.

"We have nothing here that would put her out in time…Listen Becca, very soon while I do this you will pass out and you wont feel a thing okay?" He put the last cloth in her mouth. "This is so you wont bite your tongue." He counted down and then suddenly pressed the rod on her lesion.

The three men all cringed as they watched her squirm as the rag muffled her sobs and were thankful when she finally passed out. After tending to the lesser wounds, John turned to his sons. "Dean, take her to her room and sit with her. Samuel, go up to your room. I'll be up after I clean some of this blood off of me."

"Yes sir." Both boys said.

Sitting in his room thinking about what he had done was part of the penalty. Sam's predictably increasing heart rate as his father slowly progressed up the stairs was another part of the punishment. It was part of his knowing that he was finally going to have to face the music. The fact that he'd disappointed his family, broken a promise to protect them and shirked a responsibility.

John knocked on the door. "Come in" Sam said in a small, just about inaudible voice. As the door opened Sam stood up. "I'm so sorry sir- I didn't mean to- I tried-I'll do better-I will" He raced through the words. He was trying to get as many apologies and promises in as possible before the expected yelling and looming punishment was sentenced.

"Sam, I want to talk to you. Sit down" John said.

"Do we have to?" The anticipation and guilt was killing him at this point. The last thing he wanted to do was talk to his father.

"Yes." John answered.

Sam thought about it. How would he explain the situation? He didn't want to have to verbally recall the night's event. What would his father say? "I don't want to talk to you." He said defiantly.

Although apart of him was angered, John new what his son was doing. He was trying to anger the man into yelling or punishing him so that the idea of talking would be abandoned. That wasn't going to happen.

"Samuel." He was firm, but not mean. "You sit down this minute or I can spank you for that attitude and then you can sit on a sore butt and we talk. Either way, we're going to discuss this. Got it?"

"Yes sir." Sam sat on his bed. John joined him.

"Sam… The plan was set. You know why we have rules, and what happens when you break them. So why did you leave her alone like that."

"I didn't mean to leave her." Sam whispered. "I just… You told us to sweep the area and the cave wasn't on the map, but it was still in the area. I was going to turn back, but you'd given us an order and neither one of us wanted to go against it. I-I thought that it could have been in there and I didn't want her to get hurt so I left her outside. Pretty stupid I know. But I am so sorry. It'll never happen again. I'm so sorry." He brushed away a tear.

"I know you are Sammy. I understand what you were trying to do. But in our line of work we have to be careful. Ten times more careful than anybody else."

"Yes sir."

"Now I can teach you how to bow hunt and fight. I can teach you how to burn and salt bones. But you have to learn how to be alert on your own. Not just for your sake. We're a team. We all need to watch out for each other. If one of us falls, we are all to blame. Are we clear?"

"Yes sir." Sam said.

John sighed "Then let's go check on your sister."

"Really?"

"You sound disappointed." John said.

"No sir. Surprised is a better word. I thought you'd yell or ground me or something."

"Samuel I know you may not always like it, but when I punish you kids, it's to remind you of what you shouldn't do. I think watching Becca suffer like that is punishment enough. Unless of course, you feel you'll need some additional motivation."

"Oh no sir." Sam said. "I've learned my lesson and I'm so sorry. It will never happen again."

"Good. Then let's go see your sister."

Dean-17

Sam-13

Becca-8

"Alright Sammy," Dean said as they sat in the Denny's booth. John stepped outside to make a phone call. "Pam Anderson or Carmen Electra?"

"Eww." Becca said. "Can we not. That's all you guys talk about."

"Like that's even a choice." Sam said ignoring his sister "Carmen Electra… and it's Sam."

"Carmen Elec- are you crazy. Have you seen Pam Anderson's knockers. They're huge."

"They better be with all the money she spent on them." Sam said. "They're fake Dean."

"Yeah, Fake and HUGE!"

"You guys are gross." Becca said as the waitress walked over to the table.

Dean and Sam had earlier commented on her overall beauty, making sure to highlight their recently favorite topic, her breasts. "Y'all need me to freshen up your coffee?" She asked. Both boys smiled and tried to look cool.

"Oh they didn't get coffee." Becca said before they could answer. "Nope they both got milk, but after all they are still growing boys."

The waitress shrugged and disappeared, while both brothers glared at Becca. "What was that?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, you basically told her we were kids." Sam said.

"You ARE kids!"

"Hey Sam." Dean said "Flip a coin? Loser has to ask her for her number."

"Dean she's not gonna give us her number." Sam said.

"Awww, whats the matter Sammy. You scared…Chicken."

"Fine! Flip the coin."

Suddenly there was a crash and the three kids turned to find the "hot" waitress had spilled a pitcher of water on the counter all over her shirt. "Well that answers my what I did on my summer vacation essay." Sam smiled.

"I was thinking more along the lines of a 'Dear penthouse' essay." Dean said.

"Ugh!" Becca got up and walked out of the restaurant.

Outside, John wrote down some of the information he'd received from a munitions dealer when the door to the restaurant opened and his daughter stalked out and over to their car. After he hung up he went over to her.

"Hey there little girl." He said. "What're you doing?"

"Nothing." She pouted.

"Come on. What did Sam say this time?"

"It's not Sam."

"Then is Dean picking on you?"

"No… It's not them. It's all guys. I hate all guys." She said.

"Uh-oh." John said. "I'd hoped you wouldn't start hating all guys until at least twelve."

"What?"

"Nothing. So why again do you hate all guys?"

"Cuz they're stupid! And… well no boy is ever gonna think I'm pretty because all they care about are boobies and I don't have any and all the other girls have them. Why don't I have them Daddy?"

John swallowed. Demons were easy. Ghosts, piece of cake. But having a talk with his eight year old daughter about her breasts, that was scary. "Um… Well you see honey." She looked up at him with inquisitive blinking eyes. "Uh…okay, you know how your baby tooth fell out and another one grew in?" She nodded. "Well that was because you got older and when you grow up your body changes. It happens at different times for each person, but (unfortunately for me) it will happen. So when it's time, your'e going to have…your going to grow…"

"Boobies?"

"Uh, yes those." John said awkwardly. "Okay?"

"Uh-huh…Daddy? I have another question?"

John sighed. "Sure sweetheart."

"If I pay money, will I change sooner?" She asked.

"What?" He choked out.

"Yeah. Sam said that Pamela Anderman paid for hers and Dean said they were huge and boys like her a lot!" Becca said excited at the idea.

"Well first of all no, YOU can't pay money to get them sooner. And second of all I don't want you thinking a boy should only want you for your… your body. If any boy does that, he doesn't deserve you. AND theses boys we're talking about, they aren't going to come into play for a long time… A REALLY long time…like at least till your thirty. And third of all…I need to have a talk with those brothers of yours about what they say when you're around."

Dean-26

Sam-22

Becca-16

"Dean, what the hell are you doing here?" Sam asked.

"Well I was looking for a beer." His brother joked.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Sam repeated

"Okay, all right, we gotta talk."

"The phone?"

"If I'd have called, would you have picked up?"

"Thanks for leaving me SLEEPING in the car you jerk." Becca Winchester whispered to her brother Dean as she walked over from the doorway. "Hey Sammy!"

"Becca?" Sam said, surprised. He hugged her and picked her up. He'd really missed her. He'd missed them all. He tried not to make it obvous that he wa looking for his father. He was the only one left in the family that had yet to make an appearance. But John wasn't there. Sam was hurt, but he wasn't surprised. He hadn't ended things on good terms with his father and it had been years since he'd spoken with him. In his first year at Stanford he'd received one letter from his brother that basically said "good luck and goodbye." He talked with his little sister often on the phone. Only when she was alone or sure their father and older brother were asleep. That was what kept him going. Her phone calls not only verified that they were all alive and safe, but they also gave him a needed sense of connection to his family. He'd heard the change in her voice through the years, but seeing her right now, he was in shock. "God, you got taller."

"Yeah." She said. "Says the Jolly Green Giant. What are you seven feet tall now?"

Suddenly on the light in the room turned on "Sam?" The Winchester kids turned to find the blonde in her smurf pjs standing in the doorway.

"Jess, hey." Sam said. "Bex, Dean, this is my girlfriend Jessica."

"Wait, your brother and sister?

"That's us." Becca said.

"I love the Smurfs." Dean said flirtatiously. You know I gotta tell you, you are completely out of my brother's league."

"Dean!" Becca scolded and turned to Jess. "Sorry about that. He doesn't ever know when to turn it off.

"Just let me put something on." Jess said uneasily

"No, no, no, I wouldn't dream of it…Seriously." Dean said as Sam rolled his eyes "Anyway, we gotta borrow your boyfriend here. We have to talk about some private family business, but nice meeting you."

"No." Sam said walking over to Jessica. "Whatever you wanna say you can say it in front of her."

"Sam come on." Becca said. "It'll b really quick."

Sam looked unmoved. "Okay." Dean gave in. "Dad hasn't been home in a few days." Sam still looked unimpressed. His father was often gone. It wasn't a big deal to him. Why were they freaking out about it.

Becca sighed. "Sam, Dad's on a hunting trip and he hasn't been home in a few days.

Sam swallowed as her words echoed in his ear. "Jess, excuse us. We have to go outside."

Sam made his case on not going as the three headed out to the car. " So what are you gonna do?" Dean asked. "You just gonna live some normal, apple-pie life? Is that it?"

"No. Not normal. Safe." Sam explained.

Dean scoffed. "And that's why you ran away?"

"I was just going to college. It was dad who said if I was gonna go, I should stay gone. And that's what I'm doing."

"Yeah well dad's in real trouble if he's not dead already, I can feel it."

Sam turned to Becca "Why didn't you just tell me about this?"

"What do you mean?" Dean said.

"Nothing." Sam said, wishing he would have thought before he said that.

"What does he mean?" Dean asked Becca.

She sighed. Why couldn't Sammy ever keep his mouth shut? "I've kinda… I've kinda been calling Sam every once in while."

"What!" Dean yelled.

"Well what did you want me to do? He's my brother!"

"He's my brother too! Why didn't you tell me?" Dean asked.

"I donno." She whispered. "I thought… I donno Dean I'm sorry…"

"Whatever." Dean sighed. "This isn't important right now. Dad's missing Sam and we need to find him we can't do this alone."

"Yes you can." Sam argued.

"Yeah. Well, I don't want to." He wanted his family back. It was slipping away. First his mother was taken. Then his brother. Now his father. Dean didn't want to look weak, but he couldn't imagine life when they were all gone. His father had always been a rock. Everything would be better when they found him. And they could find him. Together. As a team. As a family.


	3. Chapter 3

Dean-9

Sam-5

Dean didn't like her. Then again Dean never liked any of the few babysitters his father had left them with. But she was the worst. Not only did she represent the first time in months that DEAN wasn't given the responsibility of babysitting, but she wasn't like any of the other babysitters. Usually they were practically elderly or just a few years older than he was. Either way he could usually get away with murder with them as he babysitters. Between his trademark smile (a secret weapon he would carry with him forever) and Sammy's puppy dog eyes (an even greater threat to a sitter) it was easy. The hardest part was getting Sam to go along with the plan.

But this time was different. Dean wasn't left in charge because they'd been in this town long enough for some of the neighbors to notice they were a little more than latch key kids. John made a big show about leaving them with a capable sitter, just to get them off of his back. He didn't sneak out of town for this job. Instead, there was a big goodbye at the front door and a suitcase put in the car.

Dean could play along with that. His father was a smart man. He knew what he was doing. But he couldn't deal with this babysitter. This woman was their fathers age! Young enough to keep up with him and old enough not to fall for him. Plus it seemed like she always knew when he was lying or about to do something he wasn't supposed to.

"Dean, turn the tv off. You and your brother head on up and start some of that homework."

"AW, come on Missouri." Dean complained. "We always watch this…"

"Don't you backtalk me Dean Winchester. Now you head on upstairs and I don't want to see that television on until after all of your homework is complete."

"Yes ma'am." Dean grumbled. "Come on Sammy."

They were half way up the stars when she said "Boy, if you make your brother do it just so you can finish this show, I'll turn the dang thing off till your Daddy gets home."

"I-I'm not gonna do that." He swore.

"Yeah, but you were thinking about it."

"Ugh." Dean said after he finished one of his assignments.

"It's not that bad." Sam said.

"It's not that." Dean explained. "It's this babysitter. She's evil. I think we should hunt her."

"Daddy says we can't hunt on our own." Sam said.

"I wasn't being serious Sammy. I just don't like her."

"I do." Sam smiled. "She gave us cookies after school and she's making us dinner."

"Dad makes us dinner."

"But she's making us chicken. Dad always makes mac and cheese or grilled cheese. She's making us chicken."

"Yeah, you mentioned that already." Dean sighed.

"And I was watching her make it."

"When?" Dean asked.

"When you were watching tv." Dean could have sworn Sam was watching too. "Anyways, I watched and I helped and asked lots of questions. And then I messed up and she didn't get upset or put me in the corner or tell me I was going to get a spanking. And then…"

"Shut up Sammy, I get it. You like her more than Dad. You don't have to explain everything you did tonight." Dean snapped.

"I don't like her more than Daddy." He said in a quiet, offended tone. "I never said that."

"Fine." Dean said. "I'm sorry, just don't start pouting will you."

They finished their homework in silence and went to sit on the couch. "Dinner's almost ready." Missouri said. "You boys wash up and we'll call your Daddy before we sit down to eat."

"Yes ma'am." Sam said going toward the bathroom.

"Finally." Dean thought to himself. "Once Dad finds out what a whackjob he left us with, he'll send her packing." He followed his brother and the two quickly returned. He was happy when Missouri decided to give him privacy when he wanted to talk to his father. "Hey Dad." Dean said.

"Hey Dean. Are you boys okay?" John asked.

"Yes sir, but… Dad are you sure we need a babysitter?"

"Dean, you know we had to show the neighbors I wasn't leaving you alone."

"I know. But we made a big deal about it when you left. They know she's here. So why does she need to stay."

There was a pause. "Dean, you're not given her any trouble are you?"

"No sir." Dean said as innocently was possible. "I just- I thought if she left now we wouldn't have to pay her as much."

"We're not paying her." John said. "Missouri is and old friend of mine."

"Really?"

"Really. And let me tell you another thing, if I find out you've been given her a hard time, you're gonna find it really hard to sit through our next drive. You hear me?"

"Yes sir." Dean sighed, instantly wishing he hadn't been such a pest to her.

Dean listened as Sam spoke to his father next. "Hi Daddy!… We're okay. When are you coming home?…Yeah, she's real nice…Okay…I love you too Daddy! Bye!"

He listened even harder when Missouri got to the phone. "Hey John, hows the job… Well you be safe… Oh no, the boys are perfect little angels." He couldn't believe what she was saying. "Yeah, they're just as sweet as pie…Okay, then. Remember what I said. Be safe… Alright. Bye John." She covered for him? She covered for him. "Alright boys, why don't we start on dinner." Missouri was about to follow Sam into the kitchen, when she noticed Dean wasn't going with them. "Sammy" she said "Why don't you go and set the table. We'll be right in."

"Yes ma'am." Sam said.

"What are you chewing on?" She asked.

"You covered for me." Dean said.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh come on. Perfect angels? Sweet as pie?" He said.

"Dean," Missouri sighed "Sit down." He obeyed and she sat next to him. "You're Dad's doing a very important job right now. Very important. He needs to give this a lot of focus and what both know what he'd be thinking if I'd said you were misbehaving don't we?"

Dean thought about it. "Yes ma'am." He said.

"And besides I know why you've been giving me a little bit of a hard time tonight. Honey, I'm not trying to take over here. I'm not trying to take anyone's place. Not yours. Not your Fathers…Not your mothers." Dean looked up. He hadn't actually said the words, but he'd been thinking about that all night. "Now come on. Dinners getting cold." She said and went into the kitchen. This time Dean did follow her.

The next day when John came home, Missouri Mosley was able to honestly tell him his son's had been very well behaved. John thanked her and helped her pack up. Then she said goodbye to the boys, who she wouldn't see until years later.

It melted his heart every time he heard her little voice say it.

"Papa."

It was her first word. It was quickly followed by a sea of others. She was incredibly smart. But John could proudly say that "Papa" was the first of the many words she knew. His older sons Dean and Sam still couldn't shake her of calling them "Din" and "Sem." But "Papa" was ALWAYS clear.

As she grew the name stuck, with variations thrown in for her different moods. "Pa" was used when she wanted something ("Can I get ice cream? Please Pa!"). "Paw" was when the word naturally curved with her scared pouting lip ("Paw can I sleep in here tonight?").

He didn't know what to do the day his five year old came home from school and explained that "Billy says only hillbillies call their father's Papa." That led to "Daddy" and after a while just plain old "Dad." Looking at his little girl now, the thirteen year old who looked at him with such sad eyes as she watched her brother walk out the door (supposedly for good) , all he wanted to do was be "Papa" again. He wanted to scoop her up and tell her everything would be fine. That he would make everything fine.

"Becca…" He tried.

"Can I just be alone right now Dad." The word cut him like sharp glass. She didn't want him to make everything fine. And to be honest he didn't even know if he could.

Dean-26

Sam-22

Becca- 16

They were stuck in the woods. Even though Wendigos were never very far west and mostly in the Minnesota woods or northern Michigan, Sam figured from the claws and the way it could mimic a human voice that they were dealing with one. That made guns useless. At night they made a small campfire, and Dean drew Anasazi symbols in the dirt for protection. Roy, the forest guide, laughed at him. "Nobody likes a skeptic, Roy." Dean said.

Becca sat with Ben. She didn't tell him, but as the youngest of three siblings who were without their parents, she couldn't help but draw a similarity between their situations. And now Ben's brother was in danger. Looking up at Sam's she realized her brother was in danger too. She went over to Dean. "Sam's freaking out." She said. They both looked over at him. He looked so distant.

"I know." Dean sighed.

"I mean he' always having those dreams and he never talks to us and did you see the way he freaked earlier?"

"I know." Dean repeated. "They walked over to Sam on the edge of the campsite and sat by him.

"Hey Sam, we thought you might…"

"You wanna tell us what's goin on in that freaky head of yours?" Dean asked, losing the pleasantries his little sister was trying to use.

"Guys…" Sam began.

"No you're not fine," Dean cut him off "you're like a powder keg man it's not like you. I'm supposed to be the belligerent one, remember?"

For the past couple of years Sam had made the habit of keeping things to himself. Jess didn't fall for it and many times hassled him until he told her, but many times she just let it go, assuming that it was just another one of the things that Sam would never want to talk about. Like the way he woud act when his sister called. Worried at first and then exceptionally happy. So happy even though he never wanted to visit his family on vacations or have them stay with him. He kept those parts hidden away and she could live with that. Little did she know that that was not the natural order of things. Sam hadn't always kept things to himself. Years before he'd told his siblings almost everything. Sometimes he needed a shoulder to lean on, sometimes he need an older brother to beat it out of him, sometimes he needed a little sister to annoy him into it, but whatever he needed they were always there. Now here they were again. Sam sighed. "Dad's not here. I mean that much we know for sure, right? He would have left us a message, a sign, right?"

"Yeah you're probably right." Dean said. "To tell you the truth I don't think dad's ever been to Lost Creek."

"Then let's get these people back to town and let's hit the road, go find dad. I mean why are we still in here?"

Dean knelt in front of his brother "This is why." He held up their dad's journal. "This book. This is dad's single most valuable possession everything he knows about every evil thing is in here. And he's passed it on to us, I think he wants us to pick up where he left off, you know saving people, hunting things. The family business."

"Yeah." Becca said. "I mean he's got to have some kind of a plan. I mean it's Dad."

"That makes no sense." Sam said. "Why doesn't he just call us? Why doesn't he tell us what he wants. Tell us where he is?"

"I dunno." Dean shrugged. "But the way I see it, dad's giving us a job to do and I intend to do it" Becca felt lost at that moment. She honestly wanted to see things the way Dean saw them and in a lot of ways she did. She knew their father had a plan and there was a reason for him going off on his own. She understood that. But at the same time she felt like Sam. Why hadn't he called? Didn't he trust them? Why send them on a wild goose chase following some coordinates leading them to some forest he'd never even been to. Why couldn't he just call?

"Dean, no." Sam's voice broke Becca's thought. I gotta find dad. I gotta find Jessica's killer. It's the only thing I can think about. "

"Sam we'll find them I promise." She told him.

"Yeah, but listen to me," Dean added. "you've gotta prepare yourself. I mean this search could take a while, and all that anger, you can't keep it burning over the long haul, it's gonna kill you. You gotta have patience, man."

"How do you do it? How does dad do it? Sam's voice broke

Dean: Well for one… them." They looked over at Hailey and her younger brother Ben. "I mean I figure our family's so screwed to hell, maybe we can help some others. Makes things a little more bearable." Dean thought for a minute. "I'll tell you what else helps. Killing as many sons of bitches as I possibly can."

Dean-15

Sam-11

Becca-6

"I'm not even good at it." Dean protested.

"Dean, I'm not going to let you drop out of school." John said.

"Come on Dad." He begged. "I should be researching or making money or SOMETHING useful."

"Son, No Winchester has ever dropped out of high school. We are not quitters."

"But Dad, Im not trying to quit. I'm just… I'm just continuing my learning in another field?"

John truly wanted to crack a proud smile. He'd definitely taught his son well. But although his argument showed a great skill in negotiation with just a tiny bit of a con, It was still bordering on insubordination. And John wouldn't have any of that. So he kept his stern face on and said "Dean Aaron Winchester, you are going to continue school. You hear me?"

"Yes sir." Dean looked down at his shoes. His father had a way of making him do that. Sure he looked down because he was scared and nervous. But Dean would also feel sorry for him. Sorry that he had to deal with whatever Dean'd done.

"Good." John said. "Now don't make me have to say it again. Go on and finish your homework. Tell your brother and sister dinner will be ready in ten."

"Yes sir." Dean repeated heading up the stairs.

In all honesty John wanted Dean out of school as soon as possible. The days dragged on during a hunt and it would help if he had Dean with him. It would also help to have Dean working when they weren't on a hunt. A second income would definitely lighten his load. But he couldn't let him do that. And it wasn't because "No Winchester ever dropped out of high school." John's father had never even been to high school. But Dean had to do it. She wanted him to do it. She used to lay her head in his lap and talk about how their boys would be. How smart and how successful. How big and how strong. Mary deserved to see the kids finish high school. Even if it was from above that she did it. And he wouldn't let her down. Not again.


	4. Chapter 4

Hey! Another Shortie! Hope you like it!

Dean-16

Sam- 12

Becca-7

Dean had gone to scrounge up some Holy water. He wasn't gone more than seven minutes. But that didn't change the fact that when he came home he walked in right in the middle of a Sam/Dad showdown. "But it's not even an overnight. It's just a bus ride with my teacher and my class. I want to go." Sam begged.

"We cant always get what we want Sammy." John said. He was reaching the edge with this conversation.

"It's Sam." He mumbled. "Sammy makes me sound like a baby."

"Well you're acting like one. When you act your age maybe then I'll call you Sam."

"I am acting my age. People my age go on field trips." Sam said.

"Young man, people your age listen to their elders." Dean swallowed nervously. Why did Sam have to pick late night to do this? Right when their father was at his crankiest. More importantly, why couldn't Sam just let things like this go? "You are NOT going on this trip."

"You cant do this!" Sam said.

"Samuel, I have had ENOUGH of this!" John said as he was stalking over to his younger son.

"Dad!" Dean cut in.

"Stay out of this." John said.

"Look!" Dean pointed to the doorway and the little with the quivering lips and tear dampened eyes.

"Becca." John said in an instantly softer voice. "What are you doing up?" He went towards his daughter, but she backed up, frightened.

"I can put her back to bed." Dean offered. He walked over to her and picked her up. "Hey Becca Anne. What's the matter?" He carried her to her room. "You're okay." He cooed, laying her back down in bed.

"They yelled." Becca said. "A lot."

"Uh- yeah well they were having a fight."

"Daddy fights the bad things. Is Sammy a bad thing? Does Daddy have to kill him."

"Becca you know Sammy isn't a bad thing." Dean smiled.

"Then why do they fight so much?" She asked.

"I'll let you in on that when I get to the bottom of it." Dean sighed more to himself than to her.

"Huh?" Becca said.

"They weren't fighting." He said trying to put an end to her questions.

"Ya-huh." She said. "They were fightin'. I heard them. They woked me up." Both Dean and Becca jumped when they heard the door downstairs slam. "See." Becca said. "They ARE fightin'."

"They- they aren't fighting." Dean tried again. "They were just having an argument."

"Oh." Becca said.

Dean was just about to pat himself on the back for successfully ending an round of "Becca Winchester's never ending questions" (a game that also drove his brother and father crazy on occasion), when she said "What's an argument?"

"Um…It's like a fight with words." Dean tried to explain.

"But sometimes Daddy fights the bad things with words too. Like when he does the exorskisms."

It was kind of funny to him that his seven year old little sister knew words like exorcism and poltergeist, but didn't know what an argument was. "Well… I guess an argument is when Dad has a fight with something that isn't a bad thing. When he fights the bad things it's very different."

"How does Daddy fight the bad things?" Becca asked.

"I totally set myself up for that one didn't I?" Dean said to himself. "Well he prepares himself to fight very bad thing there is before he finds them."

"And how does he do that?"

Dean groaned a little. "He trains a lot and he learns all about them."

"Yeah but how does he do that?"

It was time to use the secret weapon. "Magic." He said simply.

"Oh. Okay." Becca said, content with her answer. "G'night Dean."

"Night Becca Anne." He smiled. He checked to make sure the salt circle around her bed wasn't broken and then gently closed the door.

Downstairs John Winchester sat in the kitchen reading up on some demon or another. "Your sister alright?"

"Yes sir."

"Did you check her circle?"

"Yes sir, she's fine." Dean said. "Where's Sam."

"He's out in the garage making good on the pushups he owes me." John said.

"Dad," Dean said "It's really late and…"

"Damn it Dean, I am not going to let you turn that kid into a crybaby every time he gets punished." John said worn-out.

"No sir." Dean said. "But there's something else we have to talk about."

"What's that?"

"Well with all do respect Dad, you and Sam can't argue like this all the time." Dean said as calmly as possible.

"Dean, what did I just say?"

"I'm not saying it to protect Sam." He said. "I'm saying it for Becca. It was one thing when she didn't know about what it is we do. But know that she does, now that she gets it, she thinks it has to do with everything. She's scared. She thinks anytime you fight, even if it is with Sam, that you're fighting to kill. She was scared Dad."

"She was scared of me."

"I'm not saying she was scared of YOU…"

"No, I am. I saw her. She pulled away from me when I went to pick her up. She was scared of me."

Dean saw his Dad's eyes. They were hurt. "I'll go talk to Sammy. Tell him he needs to tone it down too."

"Yeah… Sure…" John said. "Dean?"

"Yes sir."

"Tell him he can come in. He can finish tomorrow. It's late."

"Yes sir."


	5. Chapter 5

Hi. I had the flu for a while and couldnt write and then i couldnt log on to the site. sorry about the LONG wait. hope you like it:

Dean-18

Sam-14

Becca- 9

Sam Winchester jolted out of bed hearing a piercing scream coming from the other room. He grabbed his gun and ran to his sister's room. He opened the door and searched the room. Nothing was attacking her, thank God. The girl was, however, panting and sweating as she continued to scream. "It's got him! It's got him!"

A nightmare? Becca didn't have many nightmares. At least not as many as most kids and not nearly as many as she should have given her family's job description. "Becca." He said shaking her to consciousness. Her eyes shot open and she turned to him with a panicked expression. "What is it?" He asked.

"It's got him!" She screamed.

"Hey shhh," He said calming her down "everything's okay. It's got who?"

"Daddy." She said frailly. "It's got him. The vampire. I saw it."

Now Sam understood. Becca had come home the night before asking their father a million and one questions about vampires. It seems some boy in her class was bragging about some movie his big sister snuck him into. This movie where some guy goes through the history of this guy turned vampire and all of his vampire friends. John told her what he'd told all his children at one point or another. That they didn't hunt vampires because there were no vampires to hunt.

"Becca, it didn't get him. There are no such thing as vampires, remember? Dad's just fine okay?" Sam said.

"How do you know?" Becca asked. "Where's Daddy? I want Daddy."

Sam sighed. "He'll be home really soon. And we'll all be fine okay."

"Okay." Becca said unsure. Sam tucked her back in. "Sammy?"

"Yeah kiddo?"

"Would you stay with me for a little while?" She asked.

Sam again. "Alright. Scoot over." He said and got in the bed. He stroked her hair until the little girl fell asleep again.

John made his way into the apartment he was staying in with his children. It was two in the morning, but then again he'd seen later nights. He was surprised to find his youngest son sitting in the living room. Waiting for him.

"Sammy what are you doing up?" He asked.

"Where were you?" Sam said.

"I got a late call about a job." John said taking his jacket off.

"Why didn't you say something or leave a note?"

"Well first of all because I knew I'd be back before morning and Dean should be back from the pool hall soon, and secondly because I'm the parent and I don't have to tell you where I go."

"You're the parent. EXACLTY my point."

"Sammy, I'm tired and even less in the mood for your attitude than I usually am. SO whatever is…"

"She needed you to be there." Sam said softly.

"Who?"

"Who do you think? Becca. She needed you."

"What happened?" John asked worried. "Is she okay? Did something attack?"

"Is that what it takes?" He said. "She has to be attacked or trapped somewhere to get your attention. She's your daughter and she was scared."

"Sam I was out killing a demon that was forcing a family out of its house!"

"What about your family. Or did we decide that scared people outweigh scared little girls with nightmares?" Sam asked standing up.

"In this line of work we have to make decisions, sacrifices in order to get the job done." John said.

"I know that Dad. You don't need to tell me that. Tell that to Becca. Tell her she's just a sacrifice that has to be made, you know, to get the job done." Sam walked back to his room. He left John to think about the man he had become. He loved his children. They knew that. Didn't they? Becca wasn't a sacrifice it was just… did Sam think he was sacrificed. He tried to put the thoughts out of his head. It was late and he had picked up an early shift at the mechanics shop. He didn't have time for second guessing his actions. A family was safe because of him. His family would just have to wait for it's own safety.

Dean-26

Sam-22

Becca-17

"At least she told us this time. She didn't lie or anything." Dean said.

Sam moaned "Oh God, I wish she would have."

"Well at least he isn't here boyfriend. I mean she said they haven't done anything."

"Oh come on Dean." Sam said. "He's a teenage boy. Remember what that was like. Hell the average adult male thinks about sex eight times minimum every minute. He probably thought about getting her in bed the second he looked at her…That bastard."

"Sam, aren't you supposed to be the rational one? You do remember that you haven't even met the guy?" Dean said.

"Whose side are you on here Dean? Do you WANT guys to violate our little sister?"

"No! Of course not. If I had it my way she would never even date."

"Good. Then how do we get her to stop it with the whole dating thing?" Sammy asked.

"How should I know?" Dean shrugged.

"Well come on, you're oldest aren't you?"

"Well you went to college didn't you? What the hell did those smarty-pants old farts teach you for all that time?"

"Sorry, I guess I skipped the 'getting your little sister to stop dating' 101… Although I did learn some stuff about psychology…" Sam thought.

"Any of it help with making her not date?"

"Actually right now all signs point to us giving her some type of family generated unsociable complex." He said calming down.

"We're not giving her a family generated unsociable complex. I mean, look at that movie Carrie. Now THAT chick had a family generated unsociable complex. Remember that crazy mom she had. 'They're all gunna laugh at you!'" Dean quoted.

"Don't you ever get the urge to read? You know just pick up a book sometime?"

"What do you mean?" The older brother asked.

"I mean we never have one conversation without a movie quote from you." Sam explained.

"For your information, Carrie was a book first."

"Did you read it?" Sam said, genuinely intrigued.

"Not the point Sammy."

"Your point is you shouldn't actually read something if there's a movie version out?"

"No Smartass, my point is we're not trying to turn Becca into some pig blood throwing prom queen. We're just trying to keep her out of the maternity wing of the hospital after having her ninth child with some guy who cleans the puke of roller coasters for a living named Bubba."

Sam looked Dean over. "That was…detailed. You've been thinking about this for a while haven't you?"

"Just the past five years or so. You know, around the year her uh 'upper body' started to grow and she told me she thought Justin Timberbay was 'cute'."

Sam smiled. "It's Justin Timberlake Dean."

Dean looked at Sam for a minute. "Yeah, you would know something like that wouldn't you?"

"Shut up. Jess liked his band."

"His what? Band? Five guys jumping around a stage like a buncha cheerleaders doesn't sound like a band to me."

"Fine, she liked his group. THAT'S the reason I know his name."

"No you know his name cuz I got a little sister instead of a little brother, isn't that right SAMantha?" Dean teased. Dean only pulled out that name every once in a while. There's the straw that breaks the camels back and then there's the hammer that breaks the camels back. In calling Sam "Samantha," Dean had chosen the latter. Now it was time for Sam to retaliate.

"You know what your problem is Dean?" Sam said.

"What?"

"It's not that I know who the guy is. It's not even that Becca, along with a million other girls find him so attractive he's probably never needed to use those cheesy pick up lines you have to."

"Cheesy?" Dean asked mocking a hurt face.

"Yeah, cheesy. You know what your real problem is Dean?"

"No, please enlighten me Sam."

Sam pulled out one of the worse things he could say to his older brother. "You're just mad because he has a better car than you do!"

The blow was visibly effective and the fight that came from it was immediate. All siblings at some point or another beat each other up and wrestle. However, not all siblings are highly trained and skilled warriors liked the Winchesters. So they weren't satisfied giving each other wedgies or anything like that.

It wasn't until they noticed their younger sister watching them from the front door that they stopped. "What the hell are you doing?" she asked.

"Um…nothing." Sam said.

"That was nothing?" Becca said.

"We were sitting here and then he trash talked the Impala so I had to kick his ass!" Dean said.

"Yeah well he called me Samantha first."

All they needed was to stick their tongues out at each other and she would have thought they were four. "So you were just sitting around and all of a sudden you started name calling and fighting each other. I don't buy it. What were you talking about before you started all that?"

The brothers looked at each other. "Nothing." They said innocently.

"You know what?" Becca said picking up the keys to the Impala. "You guys are being weird so I'm going to get dinner." She went out to the car and the boys sat back down on the couch.

"So how do we get her to stop it with the whole dating thing?" Sammy asked.

"I don't know?" Dean said.

"Dean you're the oldest!"


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry for the wait. Hope you like it!

Becca-10

Becca sat on the bench in front of her school, drumming her fingers on her knees. She watched some kids play over at the playground across the street and wished she could go over. It was humid and there was sun out and the sprinkler was on. She wanted to go over. Maybe just for a little bit? But could she? Nope. Her father had given her precise orders. Leave school. Look both ways and cross the street. Wait for him on the bench. It didn't matter that he was already thirty minutes late. It wouldn't have mattered if he was thirty hours late. An order was an order.

"Daddy forget to pick you up again Becky?" She turned around and found Lewis Smith, the bad boy of the fifth grade class and some of his friends walking over to her.

"Go away Lewis." She said.

"Aw Becky. What kind of friend would I be to leave you all alone?"

"You're not my friend. And for the last time it's Bec-CA."

"What kind of friend would I be?" he repeated. "Leaving you all alone. But then again, what kind of a father leaves his daughter all alone? Oh that's right. A bad one." His friends laughed idiotically at his "clever" joke.

"Shut up." Becca said through gritted teeth.

"Why?" Lewis asked. "It's true, isn't it? I mean he forgets you all the time… But then again if you were my kid I wouldn't be all that excited to see you either. But its not just that. My Mom said he doesn't even have a job. What a loser."

"You don't know anything and neither does your mother."

"Oh so then your dad does have a job?" Lewis asked. "I mean other than town weirdo."

It wasn't the taunting that really bothered her. It was the fact that she could easily end him without breaking a sweat, but she couldn't. Her father didn't allow his children to fight in school. It was apart of the whole "Don't make waves," "Try to look normal," thing. It was another order. So she swallowed her anger and frustration as much as she could. She tried to ignore the fact that she could have sent him home crying to his evil, cologne enhanced, gossiping, witch of a mother with one punch. "Just leave me alone." She muttered.

"Just leave me alone." Lewis mocked. "Yup guys. My Mom says once she saw Becky's dad at the library with some devil worship book too. Maybe that's his job. Maybe he's the leader of a cult."

"The Winchester Wierdo Cult" Another boy added.

"Yeah. Or maybe he was trying to talk the devil into giving him your mom back, huh Becky?" It was around that point that Becca Winchester decided to screw her father's orders and punched Lewis Smith in the face. "Ow! You little bitch!" he cried. "Why'd you do that?"

"That was for my mother!" Then she elbowed him in the ribs. "That was for my father!" She finished it off by kneeing the boy in the groin "And that's for calling me Becky!" The other boys looked in her direction and took off. "Yeah that's right! Get out of here!" She smiled at herself. That smile faded, however, when she heard someone clear their throat. She turned around and found her father hovering over her looking thirteen shades of red. "Hi Daddy." She said uncomfortably.

"What was that Rebecca?" John asked.

"Dad I can explain…"

"Haven't I made the rule about fighting clear?" He cut her off.

"Yes sir, but…"

"So wouldn't you agree that you just disobeyed a direct order?" He asked.

"Yes sir, but Daddy…"

"What Rebecca?"

"He said you were a bad father and he called you a devil worshipping loser!" She said.

"That's no excuse."

"And then he said you worshipped the devil so he would give you Mom back!" Becca explained.

John turned around to face her and thought for a moment. "Did you put your weight behind that punch?"

"Yes sir."

"That's my girl. Come on lets go home.

Dean-9

Sam-5

Becca-0

"So what are we gonna do with her?" Sam asked.

"Well, as of right now we'll keep her here with us. Tomorrow we can go look over the house again and see if there's any information on any family members she can stay with." John said.

"But if we don't find anything, then what? Do WE keep her?"

John sighed. "I don't know yet Sammy. We'll have to wait and see tomorrow."

"Well if we get to keep her, can I name her?" he asked.

"Jeez Sammy," Dean said "she's not a puppy."

"Your brothers right. Besides she already has a name." He looked at the small name necklace on the little girl. "Rebecca."

"Rebecca." Sam said. "That's an okay name I guess. Hey Daddy, if we keep her she'll be my little sister, huh?"

"Well you're five and she's a baby so let's do the math on that one." Dean said sarcastically. "Yep I think we can safely say she's gonna be younger."

"Dean," John warned "Be nice to your brother."

"Yes sir." Dean sighed. "Sorry Sammy."

"It's 'kay." Sam said. "Hey Dean, ya know if I'm her big brother that makes you a double big brother."

Dean wanted so badly to provide Sam with the mocking comment his statement deserved, but he knew his father wouldn't be very happy about that. "Sure Sam."

"Why don't you two get ready for bed?" John offered. "It's been a long day."

"Can Becca sleep in our room Daddy?" Sam asked.

"I don't think so son." His father said. "I think she better stick with me for the night."

Sam thought for a second. "Alright. I guess you can keep her in you room for now." He went to tough the baby and she reached out with her little hand and grabbed his finger. Sammy laughed. "She wants me to stay. I think she can tell I'm her big brother now. It's okay Rebecca. You can stay with my Daddy, he's gonna be your Daddy too. Don't be scared. He'll take care of you. He's the best Daddy in the world." As Sam walked off to get to bed, he had no idea how much he'd touched his father's heart.

Dean-16

Sam-12

Becca-7

When Sam Winchester came home from the library and walked into the small rental house he shared with his father, brother and little sister, he immediately knew something was wrong. His brother Dean was cleaning up. It wasn't just that he was cleaning. Their Dad was in the military so he'd raised them all to be pretty neat. It was the way he was cleaning. He paced around from room to room fixing little things here and there. And then there was the clincher. He was bighting his nails. Sam could read the members of his family just as easily as any book.

"Dean?" He said cautiously.

"Hey Sammy." Dean said and kept moving.

"Dean…What's going on."

Familial insight wasn't just a one way street in the Winchester family. Dean could read Sam's emotions too. Probably better since Sam wasn't very good at hiding his emotions. So Dean heard and saw the concern on his little brothers face. He stopped moving and turned to him. "It's… do you know what's wrong with Becca?"

"No." Sam shook his head. "Is she sick or something?"

"I don't know." Dean sighed. "She was so quiet. So I went in there to check on her and she doesn't have a temperature. But it was the look on her face. Like she was scared of me. I thought maybe she'd done something wrong. I asked her to talk to me. I told her whatever it was I'd help her fix it before Dad got home from the hunt tomorrow. I promised her that I wouldn't get mad. She didn't say anything. I'm really getting worried."

"How long has she been in there?"

"She hasn't come out of her room all day." Dean said.

"Becca?" Sam asked as he knocked on the door. Dean was right. She did look scared. The two brothers joined her on her bed. "What's wrong kiddo?"

"Nothing." She said quietly.

"Then why are you sitting here all alone?" Dean said. She shrugged.

"Bex we cant help you if you don't tell us what's going on." Sam said.

Becca looked down. "I'm scared."

"What's there to be afraid of? Whatever it is we'll protect you. You know that." Dean said. "We're your big brothers."

"That's just it." Becca cried.

"What?" Sam asked.

"Yesterday, in class we were talking about Cinderella… I didn't get it. I didn't get why the sisters and the Mommy were so mean to her. Katie told me… Katie said they were mean to her because she wasn't their real family. They were mean because she was adopted like me. Katie said adopted kids are different cause if parents don't like them or they're bad they can send them back. I don't want to be sent back! I'd have nowhere to go. I don't… I don't even know who my other family is." By this point Becca's stoic expression was completely erased by the blubbering face of a distraught little girl.

Sam and Dean exchanged a look. "Come on Bex." Sam said gently. " We would never send you back."

"But what if you start to hate me?"

Dean sighed. "Becca Anne, we could never hate you. And as far as sending you back, that's just crazy because…"

"I know it's crazy cuz their dead." Becca cut him off.

"No." Dean said. "It's crazy because you already have family. You, me, Sam and Dad. We're all we have. We're all I have. And I wouldn't let anybody come between us or break us apart."

Dean-17

Sam-13

Becca-8

"Give it back Sammy!" Becca said reaching for the remote control. It was no use. Not only was he her older brother, but months ago the boy had begun a growth spurt that changed him from a chubby twelve year old to an almost lanky looking thirteen year old. His new height made it impossible for her to reach. Still she tried. "Give it back!"

"No way." Sam said, dangling the control over her head. "I like this movie."

"But you already had your turn! We have to share!" She pouted.

"Says who?"

"Says DADDY!" Becca said.

"Well I'm older so I'm watching what I want to watch. If you don't like it you don't have to watch it. Why don't you go take a nap or something?"

"Well Daddy's older than you and he said we have to share… and I don't take naps anymore. I'm not a baby!" Becca said sulking over to the couch.

"You look like one." Sam said as she walked away.

Becca ran back over to him. "Take it back Sammy." she said.

"I told you its Sam." He corrected.

"What's the big deal? Sammy, Sammy, Sammy, SAMMY!"

"The big deal is I'm not a baby anymore. You're the baby remember?" he teased.

"Take it back!" She demanded.

"Make me!"

"Take it back." She repeated as she kicked her brother in the leg.

"Ow!" Sam said dropping the remote causing it to land on his little sisters foot.

"Ouch!" She said.

John was trying to ignore the fighting up until this point. He had work to do and didn't have time for their squabbling. It wasn't uncommon for him to hear it. Since she turned eight and he turned thirteen, his two youngest started to fight almost everyday. They couldn't go one week without one or both of them earning themselves a sore bottom because of it and he didn't have time to stop researching this case and deal with it. But this had gone to far. "Samuel! Rebecca! Front and center!" His two children nervously walked into his room. "Sit." He said pointing to his bed. They obeyed. "What was going on out there?"

His children spoke so quickly, it sounded as if they were one. "He wouldn't give back the remote- I was watching a movie- his turn was over- she kicked me- he called me a baby and he threw the remote at me and hurt my foot- it was an accident- you did it on purpose-Did not!- Did too!- Did not!-Did too!"

"Okay." John stepped in. "That's enough." He didn't even need to raise his voice for the two to hear him and immediately pay attention. They both struggled to sit still under his glare. He picked up a book from his desk. "There will be no more TV today. If you can't agree on something as simple as what to watch, I don't want either of you near the damn thing. I want you to go over the section in here on woodland demons TOGETHER. No arguing. I expect a full report on them by dinner. Is that clear?" Two equally humiliated pairs of eyes looked down at the floor. "I asked you if I made myself clear." John repeated.

"Yes sir." They both said at once.

"That's better. Now go on, you have work to do." He ordered and they scurried off. John sighed. The report would occupy their time and attention for the moment. But to be honest, Sam was undoubtedly an exceptionally intelligent kid and Becca wasn't too bad herself. In fact John couldn't have been more proud of any of his children… But that also meant it would take Becca and Sammy about an hour to do that report and then they'd be at each others throats again. He sighed again and asked himself how he would get through this phase, this case…hell even getting through this day. But he had to do it. For his children and for his wife. He owed it to them and he wouldn't fail them. Not again.

Becca sat in the middle of her room in the center of a salt circle. At her feet she strategically placed her knife and two shotguns. One with bullets and the other loaded with rock salt. In her hand she clutched her cell phone.

"Come on Dean. Come on. Come on…" She whispered as she got her brothers voicemail. Again! She hadn't spoken to her brother in two days. Their father had been gone for a week before Dean left on a hunt of his own. It wasn't like she hadn't been home alone before. Not by a long shot. But there was a standard procedure when she was. She usually could tell time by the ringing of the phone calls placed by her father and brother. Especially Dean.

He called her the first two nights he was gone, but Dean hadn't called in two days. Her brother never did that…. EVER. She tried to be optimistic, but in their family optimism was a luxury they couldn't afford. She called her father and brother, all the while knowing they were both probably dead. She waited for them to walk through the door, knowing if anything came through the door it was probably coming to kill her. She cried, she screamed, and then she did what they would have wanted her to do. She sat in that circle.

She would have called one of her fathers friends, maybe Caleb or Pastor Jim, but that was only in emergencies. She looked at herself. What was she thinking? Like this wasn't an emergency. She could always call…No that wasn't an option. She couldn't call Sam. He'd gotten out of their world. For a while she tried to pull him back in, but after some time she realized it wasn't going to happen. So she pulled a complete 180. Instead of trying to talk Sam into hunting again during their private phone calls, she stopped talking about hunting at all. They talked about sports and Sam's classes. They talked about politics and the weather. She couldn't go from talking about that to explaining to him that something evil probably took the rest of their family away. Would he even ome back if she told him? Would he care? Would h… She was snapped out of her thoughts by the sound of footsteps coming toward her room. She quietly picked up her gun and got ready for whatever was about to attack.

The door opened slowly and in walked… Dean! "Whoa! Becca what the hell?"

"Dean." She sighed happily. Then she remembered what her father had always taught her. Keep your guard up. "How do I know it's you?" she asked. "You could be a shape shifter."

"Becca Anne I'm tired and I smell like ass. Now I'm gonna shape shift you if you don't get that gun outta my face." It sounded enough like her bossy older brother. Becca ran over to him and gave him a hug.

"How come you haven't called me? Where have you been? Do you know where Dad is? Have you spoken to him?"

"One-I'm sorry I didn't call you. Two- Looking for Dad. Three-No clue. Four-Not a word." Dean said falling onto he bed.

"Wait." Becca said. "You have no clue where Dad is?"

"Am I speaking a language you're not understanding? He's missing Becca." Dean said.

She had never thought of him missing. Dead or fine. Those were the choices. But missing. What the hell was that. I mean sure it was nice that it wasn't sure he was dead, but missing added…mystery. She hated not knowing. Especially when it came to family. Her father could have been lost or hurt. Who knew. She vowed that moment to find him. Help him. He would do it for her. She had to. He was her father.


	7. Chapter 7

Really short. My muse is deserting me. Sad times indeed. I guess I just have to think hardy. Any ideas or things you want to see would be more than appreciated.

After Sam Left For Stanford

He missed Sam. He missed him already. He was sure they missed him too. Surely they blamed him for letting him go. Surely they blamed him for driving him away. He blamed himself. He hadn't meant to. John had only wanted to protect him. Prepare him for the world they lived in. Every father wants to do that for his son. But not many fathers were prepared themselves. They didn't really know the world they lived in. the evil around them. He definitely didn't know. He was not ready, unsuspecting, and naïve and it had cost him his wife. He couldn't do that again. No father should have to bury his children.

So he trained them. Yeah, sometimes he was a bit tough, but if he wasn't they would NEVER learn. They would NEVER be ready to fight. Because that's what he saw this as. A war. And it was one that he wouldn't let his soldiers lose. Dean was his second in command. He followed order and took over when he was needed. He'd made some mistakes here or there early on in his training. But after the time he almost let a Striga kill Sam, he followed orders without question. It didn't bother him that they weren't "normal." He liked the adrenaline rush and adventure that came with hunting and he liked being good at it.

When Becca was informed of their life, she was unhappier that she was adopted than she was about the fact that there really were evil demons that she'd have to fight. She never really complained about having to hunt. She complained more about not being able to go on tougher hunts like her brothers did sometimes. She didn't really like moving around, but she knew they were leaving to find another job and fight another demon…and save another family.

Sam… Sam was just different. He was so smart and it upset him not to know ALL of the facts. "How late are we gonna be out?" "Does the new town have a good school?" He needed to question everything and confirm that it was right "Are you sure we need the holy water for this one?" "How do you know the grave is empty?" Nothing was ever just an order to Sam. Plus he wasn't satisfied with learning about demons. He needed to know about "normal" stuff. He really wanted to be normal. He couldn't understand that normal wasn't safe. Normal was unprepared. John tried his hardest to drill that into the boys head.

And now look where it had gotten him. Alone in his room, the acceptance letter to Stanford in his hand. Sammy was gone. Dean was comforting brokenhearted Becca in his room. And there was john. All alone. All alone. He'd only wanted to keep them safe. Now he'd forced him out into the chaos to be venerable and without help. John cried as he thought about this. He didn't cry often. He was a tough man. He was a fighter. But there was more to him. As he cried, he was nothing more than a scared father.

Dean-19

Sam-15

Becca-10

Sam looked at the building. It wasn't just a building. It was a school. A new school. Another new school. Didn't he just do this in September. And again in November… and again in February. For most kids, they only had o go through the worst day of the year once. Dean tried to help him (after all he's seen his share of first days too.) He explained that on the first day the most important thing to do is always be late. If you were on time or God forbid early, it was inevitable to not only look like a major overeager nerd, but end up in some extremely popular/belligerent guy's seat and/or ruining the flow of the world. It wasn't fair. But then again who said life was fair? Certainly not his father. According to john Winchester, Sam was damn lucky he was even going to school and he shouldn't forget it. It wasn't that he didn't think he was lucky. School was one of the best parts of his life. Certainly the most normal. It was just… his father acted as if school was a burden and Sam was a burden for enjoying it.

Most parents would celebrate their kids excitement about his school work. He'd seen it on TV. Fathers clapping their sons on the back and congratulating them on their achievements. Mothers giving hugs and making celebration dinners. Well his father was more of a drill sergeant than a dad and his mother…

So he'd continue to be the black sheep of the family. He'd work hard in school and get straight A's even if it meant not knowing everything there was to know about some demon he might never actually face. He'd ace his test and write an amazing application essay and get into to some college. ANY college. Maybe then his father would see. Maybe then he might understand and he'd be proud and tell him he did a good job. He'd work hard and make that happen.

But first things first. Up the steps and into this new school for yet another first day.

Dean- 23

Sam-19

Becca-14

John smiled. "You're going to end up a prime example for those childhood obesity studies if you keep that up."

"Wonder if they pay you for those" Dean said finishing off grease-ridden cheeseburger and opening a new bag of skittles. "I mean why else would people do a study that proves they're fat."

"I don't think that's the point of the whole thing son. I think it's a health issue or something. Apparently they have discovered that junk food isn't good for you. Who would have thunk it." John said sarcastically.

"Well that is precisely why we don't have to worry."

"Please explain."

"This," Dean said holding up his skittles and M&M bags "is not junk food. This is Dean Winchester on the road survival food."

"Sure it is." John laughed.

There was a moment of silence before Dean asked the question he'd wanted to ask all night. "So how was he?"

John cleared his throat. It had been a whole day since he'd gotten back from his chuck-up trip to Stanford. He thought maybe Dean wouldn't ask him about it. He'd hoped Dean wouldn't ask him about it. "He's getting sloppy. He's still putting salt by the windows and doors but it's rushed." John said going back to cleaning his pile of weapons.

"But he's not hurt or anything?" Dean tried to sound calm, but the worry was clearly in his voice.

"No." John said. "He's not hurt."

"Does he… did it look like he had friends?"

"Yeah he's… he's doing okay I guess." John said. Before Dean could get out another question John changed the subject. "Is that my knife?" He asked pointing to Dean's pile of weapons.

"Oh, um yeah. Sorry. I borrowed it for the job in Kansas." Dean explained.

"I was looking for that. Next time ask okay."

"Yes sir." Dean said. He felt that conversation being forced to an end. He didn't know why his father and brother acted that way about each other. They clearly loved each other and at the same time couldn't stand to even talk to each other. It was something Dean would never understand.


	8. Chapter 8

So this is really short and I know I've been making them pretty short lately but (it breaks my heart to just give up and say it) my computer has been stolen. That's right. And I usually write my stories and my poems (which I could never post anywhere because up until now I was the only one who'd seen them) throughout the week. So everything is gone… I did this today cuz I finally gave up on the "maybe I just lost it" "denial" phase of grieving.

Deans birth

The little fingers wrapped around his. His little tufts of hair. Even though he was larger, he didn't feel big or strong or powerful. In fact, it was the smallest the man ever felt. Helpless. He would give this little one his heart and it still would never be enough. He felt as if his wife Mary, who after hours of labor looked as gorgeous as ever, had all of the answers. She immediately knew how told hold him. How to talk to him. John was scared. He'd faced some of the most intimidating circumstances in the world, but this…this was flat out scary.

"How could you love someone so much that you've just met?" he asked himself over and over again. He couldn't help but cry. With all of the problems he had to face, looking from his lovely bride to his unbelievably beautiful baby boy, Johns world was perfect.

A Week before Sam leaves for Stanford

Sam placed the hamburger helper on infront of his little sister. "Eat up."

Becca scrunched her nose. "It looks funny."

"You asked me to make it."

"That's cuz I thought it would look like that." She said pointing to the box. "But it doesn't. It looks funny."

"Just eat it." He said pushing the plate closer to her.

"It smells funny too." Becca said ignoring him.

"JUST EAT IT." Sam repeated, frustrated.

"I don't want it. I want cereal." She whined.

"I'm being punished." Sam thought to himself. "I'm being punished for all the years I annoyed Dean like this." He slammed the Lucky Charms box on the table.

"Don't be mad at me." She said and pouted her lower lip.

"I'm not mad Bex." Sam sighed. "I'm just…"

"You're nervous about Stanford aren't you?" Becca asked. Three days ago she had unintentionally found his acceptance letter and Sam begged her to keep her mouth shut about the whole thing.

Sam's eyes snapped up. He looked around to make sure Dean and John weren't near by. "God Becca why don't you just shout it so the whole world can hear?" he said.

"Nobody's around." Becca sighed.

"Have you told anyone?"

"Sam the only people I actually talk to are you, Dean and Dad. And you made it perfectly clear that I couldn't ever ever ever ever tell Dad ever. I get it already."

"What about Dean? Have you told him?"

Becca sat up in her chair. "No! God Sammy. I have not told anyone… even though it is killin me not to tell Dean. I mean we keep stuff from Dad. You, me and Dean. We always have. Not to say that makes it right, but it's just the natural order of things. Even when Dean is in charge we still tell him more stuff than we tell Dad. This is big Sammy. He should know."

Sam sighed. "I know that. And I want him to know. Don't you think I want him to know- that I want to tell him. I want to tell Dad. Hell I want to tell everybody. But… I still haven't made up my mind and even if I decide to go Dad wont… things wont be the same."

Becca raised her eye brow. "I thought you said going to college is not the same thing as saying goodbye. You promised Sam."

"Yeah well maybe its not saying goodbye to you or even Dean… but you know Dad." Sam said weakly. "He wont look at me the same way. And what if he says he wants me to stay? What if he orders me to stay? I could never forgive him for something like that..."

"Stop." She whispered.

"What?"

"Stop saying 'what if'. Stop saying 'maybe'. 'maybe I'll go to Stanford. I haven't made up my mind.' You've been working on getting out of huntin since like forever. It's your dream Sammy. You're gonna just decide not to go. Whatever. So that's one 'maybe' down. The sooner you officially decide to go the sooner you and Dad can have your little argument, cuz trust me that's not a maybe. You two fight over who gets the last piece of bacon. You think theres a chance you're not gunna fight about this? Na-uh. No way."

Sam smiled. "When did you get so smart?"

"You're my big brother. Duh."


	9. Chapter 9

I know I just posted but it was short and so is this one.

One weeks after Sam has left for Stanford

"I could live off of coffee and M&M's" Dean Winchester said stretching out on one of the hotel room twin beds.

"No way. You'd die of malnutrition after a month." His little sister said.

"It's just a figure of speech Becca Anne." Dean said.

"Can I have an M&M?" Becca asked in her sweetest voice. Dean shielded the candy away from her. "Deeaaan." She whined.

"Beeeecccaaa." He teased copying her tone.

"Give me some." Becca pouted. "Please!" she emphasized the request with a poke on his shoulder. "Please" poke. She repeated the procedure several times.

Finally Dean had enough. "No way. I asked you if you wanted something from the store you said no. These are my M&Ms." He sounded like a two year old.

"Come on. You're being so mean. I would give you some of my M&Ms."

"No you wouldn't." Dean said.

"I would too."

"No you wouldn't because you'd have to HAVE M&Ms in order to give me some and you don't have any." Dean smiled and popped a handful in his mouth. He followed it up by letting out a hearty burp. Becca stared at him. "What?"

"You're disgusting." She said. "I have lived with you my whole life and I still cant get over how disgusting you are."

"You know you catch more flies with honey than vinegar." He smiled.

"I don't want to catch flies. I want an M&M." Becca huffed.

"Then go get your own."

"How Dean?" she asked. "We're in the middle of no where. You only got to the store cuz you drive and even if you let me drive your car…"

"Oh dude, never gonna happen." Dean interrupted. "You behind the wheel of my baby. Ha! Sure, when you can fly on a pig to the ski resorts in hell you'll drive MY car."

"I said even if…"

"Well it's a pretty big if Becca."

"Well if the big if took place, I would only end up crashing the damn thing and Dad would get even more depressed, moody and broody and that's the last thing the Winchesters need right now… So," she said slowly "give me an M&M."

"You think Dad's depressed?" Dean asked.

"I think he has a lot on his mind. I mean with Sammy gone…I donno. I worry about him sometimes. What do you think?" she looked up at him.

"I don't think you should worry about him. He's gonna be just fine." He said so sincerely he almost believed it himself.

"Which one?" Becca sighed.

"I don't know." Dean shrugged. "Becca its getting late. Maybe you should get some sleep."

"In other words you don't want to talk about this anymore." She thought to herself, but only replied "sure." They would have plenty of time to discuss this. The next four years. Actually eight if Sam went to grad school. Yep plenty of time.


	10. Chapter 10

1Supershort update on this one especially after such a long time. The only thing I can say is I have other parts for this story in the works, but I these are the only ones that are full on done. Hope you like them.

Months after John has disappeared

He did want to call them. Tell them what was going on. But hell he didn't even know what was going. Was he any closer to finding the thing that had killed his beautiful Mary? Was he putting his children in danger still sending them on hunts while he was off looking for answers? Would they be safer with him? He missed seeing them. He missed Dean's lightning quick smiles and Becca's cute little laugh. He even missed going by Stanford and checking up on Sam. He was so proud of that boy. He was stubborn as hell, but damn if he wasn't just about the most independent kid John'd ever seen. And so smart. And now Sam had come back to the family and they were all together. Only he wasn't with them. He sat in his truck and looked over the pictures. Most of them were worn from years of being folded in an envelope. As the years grew, so did the stack of pictures. His children didn't even know most of them existed. Most had been taken when they were too young to remember or sleeping in the backseat of the car on the way to or from a hunt. Although his favorites varied from time to time, he couldn't get enough of the ones with all three of them. Little Dean showing Sammy how to hold Becca. The three of them eating pizza on the couch of whatever house they were squating in at the time. John laughed looking at Sam's hair in the picture. It growing in a little patchy ( thanks to one of his prank wars with his brother.) He sighed and folded the pictures, putting them back into the envelope and into the glove compartment once more. As he started the truck he wondered how he could have gotten through the day without those pictures. How he could have gotten through the day without seeing his children.

Dean- 13

Sam- 9

Becca- 4

Everyone knows the saying "It takes a village to raise a child." That was certainly true with the Winchester's. As much as John tried, he could have possibly taken care of his three on his own. Pastor Jim was one of the member's of the Winchester's "village." John often left the kids with him. If they were with him on Sunday mornings he would take the kids to church with him and afterward he would make them some of the best pancakes in the world.

"Can I get sugar?" Becca asked pointing to her pancake.

"Becca you already have sugar." Dean explained.

"I want more." She said.

"Becca," Jim smiled cutting up her pancakes for her. "If you have anymore sugar on your pancake it wont be breakfast. It'll be candy." She looked confused for a moment, but dug into to her food. "Sammy, would you like any sugar on your pancake."

"No thanks." Sam smiled weakly. He hadn't taken one bite. Instead he poked at it with his fork. After Dean and Becca had finished wolfing down their breakfast, Pastor Jim excused them to the living room to watch some television. He sat down at the table next to the middle Winchester.

"Is everything alright Sam." The boy nodded. "Are you sure, because it doesn't really seem like it."

Sam shrugged. "I don't know. I think...well I don't think I'm a good son."

"Why would you ever say that?" Jim asked.

"Well I was thinking about the stuff you said in church today. You know remember about honoring your parents and the stuff about a foolish son being a grief and a ruin to his parents." Sam lowered his head.

"Yeah, I remember." Pastor Jim said. "What does that have to do with you Sam?"

"It proves I'm a bad son." The boy said sadly. "I mean, Dad's always giving us order and he never has to tell Dean anything more than once. It's just that...I'm not trying to be bad when I ask questions, but it's hard to just do what he says sometimes. I wanna know why. Plus Dean's always saying that its stupid when I don't wanna miss school and stuff so I guess 'stupid' is close enough to 'foolish.' And from what you were talking about, that makes me a bad son. I want to be good like... I want to be good."

"Sammy I think I know what this is about." Jim sighed.

"I already told you." Sam said. "It's about me being a bad son."

"And what about Dean? Do you think he's a 'good' son?"

"Yeah." Sam said as if the answer was obvious. "He's always good. He listens to Dad and takes care of me and Becca sometimes."

Pastor Jim listened and was blown away by this nine year old. So often the man had heard people come to him blaming others for their own faults. Most children would have blamed their siblings for trying to be prefect and stealing all of the spotlight. Sam was free from jealously and simply blamed himself. As surprising as it was to hear, Sam had done nothing wrong. "Sammy, listen to me. You are not a bad son. Not in my eyes, your fathers or God's. It's a gift that you are so interested in learning. Don't ever think of it as foolish. And as for following orders, yes it is important to obey. In your life, following what your father tells you may save your life. And as for Dean, I'm sure he didn't always follow orders all the time. He's older and probably did the same things you did at your age. But also sometimes questions can be important too. We don't want you to follow everything blindly now do we?" For the first time that morning Sam looked up and smiled. "So do you want to join your brother and your sister in the living room?"

"Okay." Sam jumped up and headed for the living room. He made an abrupt stop and ran back in.

"Something wrong?" Jim asked.

Sam gave the man a hug. "Thanks Pastor Jim." He said and went into the living room. Maybe it did take a village to raise a child. And for that, Pastor Jim was extremely glad.


	11. Chapter 11

1Short. I've been working on my other story and this one at the same time, but I kinda feel like I'm neglecting this one a bit. I have some more parts for this one, but none of the others ones are done. Hope you like it.

Becca-0

Sam-5

Dean-9

"How can they have so much energy?" John thought glancing in the car window. He was looking back on his three children. Becca, his youngest, was practically gnawing the seatbelt trying to get out of her seat and Sam and Dean were arguing about some toy car that he didn't even know they had. He didn't have time for this. He was on his way to a town that he was sure was being plagued with possessions and the sooner he got there the safer innocent people would be. He went over different plans of attack in his head.

"Ow! Don't bite me!" His oldest son's voice broke his concentration.

John looked back. "Samuel Andrew Winchester did you just bite your brother?"

Sam sat up straight and shook his head. "No sir." He said nervously.

"Becca did it Dad!" Dean complained rubbing his arm.

That was it. He wasn't one for quiting, but John just wanted to throw in the towel.John pulled over to the side of the road and turned back to face his children but he couldn't find any words. He was just SO frustrated and SO tired and what was there left to do? What was there left to say. He quickly got out of the car and stood at the edge of the woods.

"I can't do this anymore." he said to noone in particular. He breathes were short and he felt the tears stinging in his eyes.

Dean and Sam starred out of the car window. Sam had never seen his father cry. But Dean had. He remembered the months after the fire. The tears and the bottles of vodka and gin. The worst was hearing his father screaming her name from his room. Dean could remember crouching in a corner or hiding under he blankets, holding his ears trying to drown out the sounds.

"What's wrong with Daddy?" Sam asked. He sounded so scared.

"I don't know." Dean sighed. Before he could stop him, Dean aw his brother get out of the car. "Sammy!" he whispered sharply. The boy walked over to John.

"Don't cry Daddy." he said.

John looked down at his big brown eye and his tiny outreached hand. He took Sam's hand and headed back to the car. He couldn't quit. He wouldn't. They needed him, sure. But he needed them even more.

Dean-22

Sam-18

Becca-13

"What the hell is a 'demi'? John asked his thirteen year old daughter and twenty two year old son.

Dean shrugged. "I dunno."

The three of them were looking through a "Victoria's Secret" catalog together for Becca's very first real bras. It was impossible to tell which one was more embarrassed.

"Well do you need that kind?" He asked Becca.

"How am I supposed to know if I need it if I don't even know what it is." She said flipping through the book. "Oh." she stopped at a picture of a lacy pink and black one. "This one's cool. Dad I want this one."

John took one look and rolled his eyes. "Absolutely not."

"Daddy!" she whined. "You promised I could get a bra."

"Yeah, a bra. Not some kind of hooker outfit." John turned the page.

"Huh." Dean said. "I could have sworn I'd seen that before." His father and sister slowly turned to look at him.

"Ew." Becca said.

"Can we just pick something." John said changing the subject.

"I still don't understand why we, or better yet why _I_ can't just go to the mall and buy it without finding the right one in the catolog first." Becca groaned.

"Well," John said. "I've seen _you _shop. Whether we're getting you a gun or getting dinner it's always the same. You go in for one thing and ten minutes later you've changed your mind and want something different. That could go on for a while and we don't have time for that."

"Maybe." she admitted. "But that's in hunting stores and cool places like that. This place only sells bras. I wont have that much to decide."

" We can't even figure it out now. Plunge, full, strapless, convertible, racerback, wireless, lined, unlined." Her father listed impatiently. "Why the hell can't they just sell bra's. Maybe in a few colors for some variety but not in ninety different styles.! It's confusing."

"What about this one?" Dean suggested.

"See there, now that looks nice." John agreed.

"That's a sports bra." Becca sighed.

"So?" her father asked.

"SO it's like having a tighter version of a training bra. I want a real one." she huffed. She looked through the magazine a bit more. "How about this one?"

They all looked at it. "Not bad." Dean said.

"Okay." John said. "That one works. It doesn't look like something you'd see in a strip club. I'm not too crazy about the price, but it's not horrible. Next mall we pass, it's yours."

Becca smiled. "Thanks Dad... Hey, since I'll already be in there, can I get one of those cool thongs too?"

"Have you lost your mind!" John freaked.

Both Dean and Becca fell over laughing. "Dad, chill. She's kidding."

"Oh." John stood frozen. "I- I knew that." This only caused his kids to laugh even harder.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: okay. I know you guys are going to beat me blue for not updating Becca Winchester and I just updated this one last night. Im really shou;dn't be updatinganythinguntil the end ofthe week b/c I have to get a lot done this week.But I heard this song and was SO inspired to write this that I actually laughed out loud and my friends looked at me. Anyway I ran to my computer and wrote this in about ten minutes tops (so pardon and spelling errors please). I hope you like it!

Dean-13

Sam-9

Becca-4

Dean Winchester loved his music. There was no doubt about that. Sabbath, AC/DC, Foreigner, Motorhead, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Def Leppard, Metallica and of course Led Zeppelin. He always had something playing in the car his father'd recently given him. As he drove his brother and sister back home from school, he listened to his latest acquired cosset tape. Some band called "Silverchair." A girl he'd hooked up with outside of a bar accidently left it in his car. He wasn't a fan of the whole album, but there were a few songs he loved to play over and over. And he did (Sam and Becca could vouge for that).

As he played one of the songs called "Learn to hate" Dean sang along softly because Becca had fallen asleep. "Take the time to learn to hate, come and join the mass debate." He sang. Sam who sat in the passenger seat burst out into a fit of laughter. "Come on Sammy. My singing isn't _that_ bad is it?"

"Its not your singing." He laughed.

"Then what is it?" Dean asked.

"I've never really listened to the words of the song." Sam explained.

"So?"

"SO...That guy just say 'come and join me masturbate'." Sam said

Dean sighed. "No he didn't... moron. He said MASS DEBATE. You know for a smart kid you're pretty dumb." Sam pouted. He didn't like it when he was wrong.

That night the Winchester's ate dinner at the kitchen table. Usually the kids ate in the living room or sometimes Sam would do homework and eat in his room. But this was the first night in almost two weeks that John was home for dinner, so he wanted to eat as a family. Everything was fine until-

"Papa? What's master bate mean?" The table was still as the three men turned to Becca.

"Excuse me?" John said.

"Master bate? What does it mean?"

Dean couldn't hold back a quick choking noise. John sighed. "Becca did you hear that at school? Jeez how do kids your age learn this type of stuff?"

"I didn't hear it at school. Dean and Sammy were talkin' about it." Becca explained.

John gave his son's a look. "They were, huh?"

"We were- it was- she was sleeping- and the song didn't say it but he thought..." Both boys gave excuses and reasons at a rapid pace.

"I've already asked you both numerous times to watch what you say around your little sister." John said. "You know better."

"Yes sir." the brothers said.

"Why are you mad Papa? Is it a naughty word?" The more time past without her knowing the more curious the little girl became.

"Yes. No... Well." John sighed. " It's kind of like a bad word. I mean not really a bad word, but it's bad to say it. I don't want you saying it." John sighed. "You'll understand later." He thought about the implications of his statement. "I mean you'll figure it out on your own- I mean... just eat your dinner honey."

"I don't understand." She shrugged. "Can't you just tell me what it means. I promise I wont say it. Please Pa."

"Um..." John looked to his sons for help, but their eyes were glued to their plates. "Look Becca. It's an adult word for...uh... making yourself feel happy."

"Oh." she said and continued with her meal.

"Thank God that's over." John thought. "But it looks like I'm gonna have to have another talk with those boys."


	13. Chapter 13

Okay so its very short and I know its been a while, but you guys have no idea how hard it was to find time just to write this chapter and the one for my becca Winchester story. The only good part of my day was buying season on today on DVD. Even though I haven't been able to watch it I am still thrilled to have it. Also a friend of mine was telling me she thinks the first episode of the second season might be shown on the internet early. Just putting that out there. I'm sure it'll make you just as happy as it makes me! As always, I hope you like it.

"Hey Becca Anne." Dean Winchester said when his little sister walked through the front door.

"Hey." She said quietly. "Is Dad home?"

"Not yet. Why?"

The teen looked around as if to make sure their father really wasn't there and then said "I'm in SO much trouble Dean."

"Why's that?' Her big brother asked.

"Okay so I was at school and... Wait. First you gotta promise not to tell Dad!"

"I wont! Just tell me!" He said, becoming slightly worried.

"Okay so I was in school and I went to the locker room and I was in there by myself," she began. "And then all of a sudden Jane Dewit and Tasha Jameson come with all of their friends and they're like yelling at each other. And it was so overly dramatic and ridiculous I could hardly stand it. And then Jane hit Tasha and everyone started hitting each other and..."

"And what Becca?"

She sighed. "And Ms. Carver came in and went ballistic and said everyone in there had detention. And then she sent everybody , even me, home with a note to their parents. So know I have this note and I wasn't supposed to read it but, yeah right, I was gonna do that. It basically says they want Dad to come in and have a meeting so they can discuss my behavior."

"Damn." Dean said. "You ARE in so much trouble."

"I know." She said and sat next to him. "I mean Dad just said no making trouble in school since we might be here for a while. And even if he does believe that I wasn't apart of it, he'll probably be pissed that was there and that I have to stay after school for the next to days. I'm grounded for sure if not worse. Which is stupid because isn't detention supposed to be the punishment."

"That sucks." He said. "If it helps I can totally relate. I mean I wasn't the model student either and I got chewed out a ton from Dad when I was your age. But at least you'll have some back up in the form of a handsome big brother when he does get on you about this."

"Yeah." Becca thought for a second. "Or maybe my handsome big brother can do that forge thing he does so well."

"Nope."

"But Dean, you just said you could relate. Dad's gonna kill me and I didn't even do anything wrong. All you have to do is send a not that says Dad's busy and can't make it and this whole thing disappears."

Dean rolled his eyes. "And when Dad finds out…"

"He won't! I'll make it back here from detention before he comes home and by the time anything'll even look suspicious to the school we'll be out of this stupid town anyway." She looked up at him as desperately as possible. "Please Dean. It's not even about the punishment. I don't think Dad would spank me for this. And if you want I'll even do the extra training and chores he might order. I just can't take him being… I promised no more trouble in school Dean. I gave him my word."

Dean wasn't lying when he said he could relate. Their father had given him the disappointed treatment many times and it never felt good. With just one look, he could make you feel so small- so inadequate. He wanted to save his baby sister from that look alone. He was torn between being a good son/soldier to for his father and being a good big brother/protector for his little sister. "Alright." He finally said.

"Really!" She said. "Oh my God! You're the best! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

"Just give me the note. But so help me if you get caught, you're on your own." They both knew it wasn't true. He could say he'd leave her on her own a million times, but nothing could ever be further from the truth.


	14. Chapter 14

Dean-18

Sam-14

Becca-9

"Just put them on." Dean said, pleadingly.

"I hate them!" Becca complained.

"Becca Anne it's on for about an hour. Just put them on." She shook her head. Dean shoved the tights in her face. "Alright that's it Becca. Put the stupid tights on." He demanded.

"You put them on." She said backing away from him

"Dad." Dean moaned.

"Becca, Dean went to the drug store, per your request, and spent good money on those stockings. Why don't you like them." John asked.

"They're itchy." She whined. "Nobody said they'd be itchy and I wont wear them."

"Rebecca." Her father warned. "We're running late as it is. Now you put those tights on and get in the car, you hear me?"

"Yes sir." Becca conceded and put on the dark blue stockings. They all piled into the car, doing a double check to remember the disposable camera (Deans other drug store purchase). They just made it into the auditorium on time to hear the opening speech. Some girl got up next and sang the national anthem while the whole audience stood. John was about to give his daughter a stern look regarding her intense picking at her dress (which shockingly took longer to get her to wear than the tights), when they called Sammy's name. He'd been practicing the speech for a week, ever since he'd found out he'd made valedictorian for his middle school, but it was still moving for his family to hear it this time. When he was up on the stage in a cap and gown. It'd meant so much for him to get to graduate with the rest of his class, and even though there was a poltergeist two towns over, John knew he had to be there watching his son. He couldn't help but think how proud Mary would be. She would always talk about how smart her boys would be. Where she hoped they went to school. What she thought they could be. He prayed she wasn't too disappointed that it could never happen.

Dean flashed the camera when the audience applauded for his brother's speech.

"He sure used a lot of big words." Becca whispered to her brother.

"Well that's cuz Sammy's really smart." Dean explained. "They wouldn't have picked him if he wasn't."

"Are they gonna throw the hats like on TV?" Becca asked Dean

"I don't know Becca Anne. Just wait and see."

Every stood up again when they started passing out the diploma's. John picked up his daughter so that she could see over the crowd and the trio of Winchesters hooted and hollered when Sam was called. He waved, sheepishly at them and took his place with the other kids in his class. To Becca's approval they all threw their caps in the air after the last student received his diploma. After the ceremony, he met up with them outside of the auditorium. "Hey Dude." Dean smiled. "I think I saw that little blonde girl you like checking you out during your speech."

"Shut up." Dean blushed.

"Seriously, nice job Sammy." Dean said, leaving his baby brothers cheeks and even brighter color.

"Yeah, it was cool Sam." Becca added. Then, as if it all of a sudden hit her she turned to her father. "How come Sammy doesn't have to keep his dress on?"

"It's not a dress kiddo." Sam said.

"Looks like one." She mumbled.

"Sam!" A young girl with deep blue eyes and blonde hair ran over.

"Hey Violet." Sam said, his voice cracking just a bit. "This is my Dad."

She smiled and said "Nice to meet you." John nodded.

"And you know my brother and my sister."

"Hey." She said to Dean. "Hi Becca. Those are some really pretty stockings."

"They itch." Becca said shortly. She didn't like Violet. Sam had a crush on her and for some reason Becca didn't like the idea. She'd forever deny it, but she was really jealous when her brothers paid attention to people outside of their family. She hated it when Dean went on dates. With her family gone all the time on hunts she didn't really want them gone more to spend time with girl. Besides kissing was GROSS.

"Sam." Violet said. "My parents wanted to know if you and your family want to come have dinner with us to celebrate."

Sam wanted to. He really did. But he saw his father's quick look. "Um, sorry Violet. We can't."

"Oh." The girl was clearly as disappointed as Sam was. "Maybe some other time then." She gave a little smile and returned to her parents. Sam sighed. He knew there wouldn't be some other time. His family'd been in that town one whole month longer than John would've liked just so that Sammy could graduate. He would have bet anything that they would have been packed and on the road by the very next morning (and he would have been right).

The four Winchesters piled in the Impala. Dean let Sam have shotgun. He claimed it was because it was Sam's big day, but really he just wanted to brighten his little brother's mood. John also noticed his youngest son's behavior was quite a contrast to the excitement he's had for the past two weeks.

"Sam." John said finally. "I uh... you did really good up there today. Nice work."

Sam tried to hide how surprised he was to hear some positive feedback from his father. The man wasn't mean, but he and Sam hadn't been exactly seeing eye to eye on a lot of things for about a year. Most of their communication had been in the form of yelling, screaming, daring, shouting, and roaring. "Thanks Dad." Sam said as composed as he could.

"Sammy?" Becca asked in the backseat.

"What's up kiddo."

"What comes now?" she said.

"What do you mean?" Sam turned to face his sister.

"Well soon I'm gonna be in middle school and then I'm gonna graduate like you. But what comes after middle school?"

"Oh." Sam said. "High school Bex."

"And then?"

"That's it." John said before Sam could get a word out. "At least as far as we're concerned. Then you get to go on hunts full time like me and Dean."

"Cool!" she said.

"_Cool?"_ Sam thought to himself as he looked out of the window. He didn't want cool. He just wanted normal.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: okay here's another shortie. Lots of John thoughts. I don't know if that's good or bad or what but here it is.

P.S.: For any of you who read Becca Winchester (who is actually missing from this chapter, because she isn't even meant to be alive at this point)…I've started writing for the new chapter. I can't exactly say when it will be ready, but I've started. That counts for something right?

Dean-5

Sam-1

"I like that story." Dean said.

"So do I buddy." John smiled.

He sat up and pointed to the book. "The enden tries and tries and he does it in the end cuz he tried so hard."

"That's right, he sure did." His father said. "Only it's _engine_ Dean."

"Oh." Dean said, constantly impressed with his father's infinite wisdom.

"Alright. It's bedtime."

"One more story?"

"I don't think so kiddo."

"Just a shot one." Dean asked.

"Dean…" John started.

"For Sammy." They both turned their eyes to the clearly sleeping one year old next to Dean.

"For Sammy?" John asked.

"Okay maybe a little bit for me too." Dean admitted.

"You know the rules. One bed time story per night."

"Please Daddy!" Dean whined.

John Winchester raised his eyebrows. "Dean Aaron." It wasn't shouting in anyway, but he had used the middle name and every kid knows that means business.

The subtle warning tone in his father's voice wasn't at all lost on him. Dean's eyes shot down. "Okay." He said softly.

John wondered how this kid did it to him. No matter what his son did or said, he always felt like the bad one for punishing him or raising his voice. "You know, you guys both need your rest for tomorrow. It's a big day." He said in a gentler tone.

"Daddy?" Dean said.

"Yeah."

"How many times- I mean how m-much…" He stumbled through his words.

"What is it Son?"

"Are we gonna move around a lot?" The boy finally got out. John sighed and looked away. He wasn't upset with his son. He was upset with himself. As much as his son's would live to deny in the future, there wasn't a day that went by where John didn't question his response to his wife's murder. Not a day when he didn't second guess his dragging them around from place to place instead of just trying to move on. Not a day when he thought it would have been better if he tried really embracing the whole "electrical fire" story they all tried to feed him over and over and over…and over again. But he couldn't. God help him he couldn't. That inability and that alone made him unable to look his little boy in the eye at that moment.

But Dean Winchester, even at that age, couldn't help thinking it was his fault. He had sad something bad and now Daddy wouldn't even look at him. "'M sorry." He said. "I wont ask no more questions." He curled himself into bed as if to prove his compliance.

John turned and looked Dean in the eyes. God those eyes. Those eyes could make that look which was way beyond his almost six years. And what was worse, Sam already it down. It was a scary thought for the newly single father, but John could almost swear Sam had even done "the look" better than Dean once. It always left him struggling to hold his ground firm and heavy with the whole discipline thing. And boy was Dean working it now. "Hey Dean, how's about one more story?"

"For Sammy?" He asked carefully.

"Yeah," John smiled. "For Sammy."


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: I wrote this chapter after an insanely fun time last night. I hope you like it!

Dean Winchester was okay with missing out on most normal things kids did. Sports teams, school plays, summer camps, holidays. But there was one event he never would miss. It was one of the greatest days of the year. He passed his love of October 31st on to his little brother Sammy at a very early age. While Dean was mostly in it for the butt loads of free sweet, sugary goodness, Sam liked the fact that for one day he could be anything he wanted to be… that is anything he wanted to be that could be made with stuff they already had laying around wherever it was they were living at the time. Most people would find it hard to make costumes out of stuff they used everyday, but since what they did everyday consisted of some very interesting stuff, Dean had no trouble creating attention-grabbing costumes every year.

"I still don't get it." His little sister said.

Sam moaned. "What's to get. It's Halloween." Sam had spent the last five minutes trying to explain the holiday to her, as it was her first year as a participant.

"Yeah, but they just give us candy?" She said.

"Yeah."

"For free?" She said skeptically.

"Yeah!"

"Why?"

"Because we dress up!" Sam said through clenched teeth.

"Why do we dress up?"

"Because its Hal- Let's just leave her behind, Dean." He said, frustrated.

Both of them knew it wasn't an option. Their father was planning on leaving for a hunt that night and needed the boys to watch her. If she didn't go trick-or-treating, they didn't go trick-or-treating. And for Dean Winchester, that wasn't an option.

Dean knelt down. "Look Becca Anne," he said. "I promise you it'll be real fun. You'll love it okay?"

She thought before a second before shrugging. "Okay."

Sam gave his big brother a look that screamed "HOW DID YOU DO THAT?", but didn't say anything.

"So what are you gonna to be?" Dean asked Sam.

"I was thinking maybe a lawyer."

"Ohhh." Dean teased. "Really creepy, Sammy."

"It doesn't have to be creepy." Sam defended. "What are you gonna be?"

"I was thinking about being a mummy. We got tons of extra stuff in the med kit." Dean said.

Sam nodded in agreement. "What about you, Bex?

"I dunno…" She said, distracted by the television.

"Don't worry Becca." Dean said. "I got you covered. You're gonna look great."

"Won't they give me the candy no matter what I am?" She asked.

"Becca!" Dean gasped as if the girl had said fifteen swear words in a row. "Dressing up is half of the fun."

Dean flicked of the TV and the three of them began working on costumes. In an hour when they were almost ready to go out, John called them over.

"You heading out?" Dean asked.

"Just about." He said. "Look at you guys. Really went all out this year didn't you?" Except for his eyes, John's eldest was covered from head to toe in ace bandages and medical tape. "Mummy?"

"Yes sir." Dean said proudly.

John turned his attention to his middle child next. Sam had on the suit given to him by Pastor Jim for the occasions when their stays with him landed them in church. He had one of the briefcases his father sometimes used to tote weapons in at his side. "Are you with the IRS Sammy?"

"Close." Sam said. "I'm a lawyer."

John nodded and turned to his daughter. "Oh my God." He said. Dean had really outdone himself on this costume. He used a piece of cardboard and a cut garbage bag plastic. The cardboard had a hole cut in it just big enough for his sister's head and the garbage bag was placed on it. He glued plastic silver wear to the table and cut a whole in a paper plate to go around her neck.

"I'm a head on a platter Daddy!" She said.

"I can see that little girl." He smiled and turned to Dean. "Nice work."

"Well, it's her first Halloween. Gotta do it right."

"Alright. Well it looks like you're all set. I better get going." John picked up his duffel. "Be back here by ten so your sister can get to bed. And make sure to check the candy before you eat it."

"Yes sir." Sam and Dean said together.

"And speaking of candy. DON'T eat all of it tonight. We wont get the security deposit on this place back if we have puke stains on the floor."

"Ew Daddy!" Becca giggled.

"Yes sir." Sam and Dean repeated.

After John left the kids headed out too. Three hours later they returned with three pillow cases full of all kinds of candy. They emptied their piles out on the floor so that Dean and Sam could inspect it. Once it was all cleared, the Winchester kids proceeded to trade and devour an obscene amount of snickers bars, gummy worms, candy corn, tootsie rolls, nerds, twix bars, sugar babies, mike and ikes, reeses pieces, pixy stix, starburst, Hershey kisses, twizzlers and Dean's personal favorite, skittles.

"I can almost feel the cavities forming." Sam smiled. "We hit the jackpot."

"This was definitely one of our best years." Dean agreed. "But hey if Dad asks, we saved one bag until tomorrow. Got it?"

"Got it." They both said.

"We can do this every year?" Becca asked. Her brothers nodded. "I love Halloween."


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: Here's the next chap. Hope you like it.

"Happy birthday dear Sa-mmy! Happy birthday to you!" the three other Winchester's sang. John had been out working on their latest job all day. Even though it was Saturday, he didn't make Dean come along. He said it was because he could handle the research and questioning alone. In all honesty, he knew the boy wanted to stay home and get things ready for Sam's birthday. But Dean was Dean, and he knew helping Dad hunt on the weekend was a major part of his responsibility in the family. He would never have _asked_ to stay home…but there was nothing wrong with staying home if John told him to. In his seven birthdays, this was the only one Sam hadn't spent in a motel room. Since the apartment they were renting had a kitchen with a stove, Dean was able to make a small cake for his little brother's birthday. He'd made John promise to be back by dinner.

"Mmmmm!" Becca squeeled as she wolfed down her slice. She raised her plate Dean. "More?"

"More?" Dean asked. "You're already gonna get a sugar high from the first piece."

Dissatisfied with his answer, she turned to her father. "More Papa?"

"Dean's right. I think that's enough sugar for one night little girl." John said taking her plate.

"Please Pa!" she whined. John held his stern look for as long as he could in the face of her pitiful little pout. "Okay." She finally sighed.

"Here you go Sammy." John said quietly handing a box to his son.

"What is it?" Sam asked. Both he and his brother looked at it suspiciously. The Winchester kids expected nothing on holidays and birthdays and they weren't usually disappointed.

"Sam," Dean said. "Open it, you geek."

Sam pulled the lid off and found a brand new pocket knife. "It's just like Dean's! Thanks!" He said giving his father a hug.

"You're welcome son." He said, smiling awkwardly. Sadly, John couldn't remember the last time Sam had hugged him like that. He hadn't done much to deserve a hug in the past couple of weeks.

"I wanna see your new toy Sammy!" Becca said. having a disadvantage in height meant that she couldn't see what Sam had in his hand.

"It's not a toy Becca." Dean said, beating his father to the punch.

"Can I see Sammy's 'not toy' then?" she asked.

"Sorry Becca Anne." Dean said. "You can't touch it. It's sharp. What did I say about tell you about touching sharp things?"

John stifled a laugh as his nearly four year old little girl rolled her eyes and sighed in an exasperated manor beyond her years. "Not to." She answered.

"So that means you can't touch Sam's new gift." Dean said. John would never get used to how much of a father figure his oldest had become in the eyes of his other two children. There was no mystery in why it'd happened. He had been second in command practically all his life. When John couldn't bring them on a hunt, Dean took charge and kept the troops fed, showered, dressed, checked homework, told bedtime stories, the works. Anything he could do. Hell this whole birthday was his idea. The only reason John was the one who actually bought the present was because Dean told him how much Sam envied his Dad and older brother owning a knife of their own. And even though it was John who forced Dean into such a paternal position, it still always took him off guard when his son stepped up to the plate… and it still broke his heart just a little whenever Sam got hurt or Becca had a tummy ache that they went to Dean before even considering going to their own father. It hurt, but it was the way things had to be.


	18. Chapter 18

A/N:I know I haven't updated this in a while but I've been really busy with my other story (which I'm going to work more on right after I post this one.) Hope you like it.

Dean-16

Sam-12

"I can't believe you're making me do this." Sam Winchester grumbled walking along with his older brother Dean.

Dean stopped walking. "Let's get something straight. I'm not _making_ you do anything. If you want to get in trouble for losing Dad's Incan spear head, then go right ahead. I, being the amazingly awesome big brother I am, have merely presented you with a way out of getting in trouble." Satisfied with himself he continued walking.

"You know, I never thought bribery could be something you'd stoop to Dean." Sam said. "At least not as far as family was concerned."

He smiled. "Yeah well you thought wrong baby brother ." They made their way into the park and Dean spotted his target. "There you go." he gave Sam a push in the right direction.

Taking one last bitter look back at his brother Sam headed further into the park. "Dean?" He called out. "Dean? Where are you?"

"Are you lost?" A blonde teenaged girl in jean shorts and a halter said to him.

Sam looked up at the girl with his signature puppy dog eyes. "I can't find my big brother Dean." he pouted.

"Awww._" _The girl said. "Well don't you worry. I'll help you find him."

_Gotcha. _Sam thought. Right on schedule Dean "rushed" over. "Sam!" He said. "Where did you go buddy? I was looking all over for you? Don't ever run away like that again." Then (as if he hadn't even seen her) Dean looked at the girl. "Lindsey?"

"Hi Dean." She fluttered her eyes and Sam almost lost his lunch. "What are you doing here?"

Dean put on his undeniable charming smile. "Well, you made this place sound so great when you talked about coming here to read sometimes. So I figured I'd stop by and bring my little brother along, but it seems he got himself lost."

"He's so cute." Lindsey said. "I bet you were just so scared being lost without your big brother."

Sam starred at the girl. _Does she think I'm three? _He thought. "Actually," he said "I wasn't sca..."

"He was terrified." Dean cut in. "He's afraid of not having my protection. Aren't you Sammy." Dean said clapping his brother on the back a little harder than necessary.

Sam gave in. "Yeah I was really scared." He said unemotionally.

"Awww." The girl swooned. "I mean you must be a really great big brother. That's so cute Dean! "

"Yeah well," Dean smiled again. "That's me. I would do anything for the little squirt."

"Squirt?" Sam thought and had to stop himself from laughing.

Meanwhile Lindsey was almost floating on cloud nine from all of the crap Dean was feeding her. "So um Dean, my parents don't get home until pretty late. Maybe you could come over some time tonight?"

"How about right now?" Dean asked.

"But what about Sam?" She asked.

"Yeah, what about me?" Sam said.

Dean looked down at his little brother. "Would you excuse us for a sec." He dragged Sam over behind a tree. "Don't be a jerk Sammy. Just walk home. It's only a block away."

"What if I get _scared_ without my "big browther" there to protect me." Sam said mockingly.

"Sam!" Dean started.

"How 'bout I make you a deal? I let you go with Lily…"

"It's Lindsey." He said.

"Whatever. You go with Lindsey now, and do my chores for the rest of the week."

"Sure thing Sammy." Dean agreed. He knew they'd probably only stay in their current house a few days longer anyway.

However, Sam had also been aware of that. "I don't just mean chores at the house. I mean cleaning and checking the weapons AND laundry." Sam saw Dean expression change. "That's the deal. If you don't take it, you can kiss your night with her goodbye."

Dean thought about it. Their father had just mentioned that they hadn't gone to do laundry in a really long time and it was going to take whoever's turn it was way longer than usual. But Lindsey Creek was one of the hottest girls he'd ever seen. "Wow Sam." He said. "I never thought YOU would resort to bribery."

Sammy shrugged. "What can I say? I've learned from the master."

Dean-19

Sam-15

Becca-10

"So that's two breakfast specials, one cheese omelet, and a pancake combo for the guy in the bathroom?" the brunette waitress asked tucking her pencil behind her ear.

"Perfect." Dean said smoothly. He'd sized her up as soon as they walked throught the door and his wishes were granted when she said she was their waiter. "That's a really beautiful necklace you got there." He gave her his never fail smile.

She immediately blushed and stated playing with the necklace. "Thanks. My Nana gave it to me for my birthday."

"Well it definitely brings out your eyes."

"Really?" he nodded. This sent her into a giggling, blinking frenzy. "I um- I gotta go put in the um- your order." She said. As she walked over to the kitchen she looked back three times to their table.

"Mm-hmm." Dean said. "Definitely want her number."

"How do you always do that to girls?" Sam asked.

"Sam, how many times do I have to tell you. If you want me to help you with the chicks I will. It's what big brothers are for."

Sam sighed. "I do fine on my own thanks."

"No you don't." Becca said.

"Shut up." Sam elbowed her.

"Ow! What? I was just being honest." she said.

Sam slumped in his chair. "Never mind."

Dean smiled. "The truth of it is, when it comes to girls I'm like a Jedi Master or something. If you want help..."

"I said I'm fine on my own." Sam mumbled.

"Then how come you don't have a girlfriend?" His little sister asked, only to be met with a second elbow to the ribs. "I'm telling Daddy!"

"I don't care." Sam said, pushing out of the booth.

"Where you going?" Dean asked him.

"Outside." Sam answered simply walking through the door.

"He's being a stupid head." Becca mumbled.

"He's just upset." Dean said.

"Yeah well wait 'til I tell Daddy what he did. Then we'll see how upset he is." She pouted.

Dean looked at his sister. "Come on Becca, what did I tell you about tattling?"

She looked down. "Tell you first and you'll decide if Daddy needs to know." She droned, repeating a rule Dean'd put in place long ago. "But he was mean to me."

"I'll deal with him." He said. "But you better not tattle." Dean knew Becca getting Sammy in trouble would just make the day a lot harder for himself.

"Sammy's mean to me. You boss me around. It's NOT FAIR." As the second of his siblings to leave the table, Becca got up and placed herself two booths way from the one Dean was sitting in.

He was deciding which to deal with first (pouty, whining Becca or grumpy, pubescent Sam) when his father walked over. "Is it just me, or is something missing." He said.

"It's not just you." Dean said.

"Well I see Becca over at that other table, but where's your brother?"

"Outside." Dean explained. He thought for a second.

"Any reason for that?"

Dean sighed. "It's nothing. I'll take care of it."

He got up passing Becca on the way to the door. "Go sit with Dad, Becca Anne. I'll make Sammy apologize when he comes back okay?" She didn't budge and instead chose to cross her arms. "Becca, get up and go sit down with Dad now." He no longer had the easy going persuasive he was using before. Now he was using the attitude that sometimes had to be used when their father was away and it was up to him to give the orders. Both Sam and Becca hated hearing him us that tone. Little did they know that Dean hated using it even more.

Becca knew there was no use in fighting it, so she began to get out of the booth and go over to her father. However, before she made her way over there, she gave her brother the angriest look a ten year old was capable of. "I hate you."

She didn't really hate him. She was angry with him. She felt hurt and wanted to hurt him too. She had a limited vocabulary and could think of nothing better to say in the situation. These were all things Dean thought to himself in order to excuse her words. Still he couldn't help wondering how breakfast had turned so quickly. Less than ten minutes ago he was flirting with a cute brunette waitress and now suddenly he was public enemy number one with both his sister AND his brother. And for what? For trying to help both of them? Maybe he did get to pick the music when Dad wasn't driving. Sure he got to stay up later than they did. But sometimes it flat out sucked out loud being the oldest.


	19. Chapter 19

Dean-14

Sam-10

Becca-5

"Hey Dad is it cool if Steph comes over to study tonight?"

"Steph?" John smiled. "That your girlfriend?"

"No." Dean blushed. "She's just a friend. She isn't my girlfriend."

"Yeah she is." Sam said.

"Shut up Sammy." Dean said. "So is it okay?"

"Chores done?" John asked.

"Yes sir."

"And your homework?"

"All done. I just have to study for this math test but Stephanie is really into math for some reason. Like borderline geek really into math. Almost as much as Sam."

"Hey!" Sam said. "Dad Dean called me a…"

"Apologize to your brother Dean." John said hoping to stifle his middle child who'd recently entered a whinning, rebellious period he hoped to God was phase.

"Sorry Sammy. Not to rush you Dad, but I have to call her and let her know if it's okay. I don't know why but she needs half an hour before she's ready to go anywhere." Dean explained.

John was a strict leader, but he wasn't cruel. He was still a father. He could see the look in his son's eye as he talked about his girlfriend. "Yeah," He said. "I remember those days. Alright call her up and let her know she can stay till ten."

"Who can stay till ten?" John's youngest child asked entering the room.

"Dean's giiiiiiiirlfriend." Sammy teased.

"I swear Dad, I'm gonna strangle him." Dean said.

"Knock it off Sam." John said.

"Girlfriend?" Becca asked. "What do you mean?"

Sam smiled "A girlfriend is…"

"A friend who is a girl." John cut him off answering the question as simply as possible.

"So that's like me right?" She asked.

"Ew! No _that's_ like incest." Sam said.

"In-what?" Becca asked.

"Samuel," John warned. "Don't make me have to say your name again, here me?"

"Yes sir." Sam said quickly.

"In fact there are some dishes in the sink that need tending to." He said.

"Aw but Dad." Sam started, but a raised eyebrow from his father made him think better of it. "Yes sir."

"I don't get it." Becca pouted a little. "Why come I can't be Dean's friend."

"You are my friend Becca Anne. And it's 'how' come." He corrected.

"_How_ come I can't be your girlfriend then. Ima girl." She said.

"Well… Cause..." Dean said.

"Um." John started. "Okay Becca, you know the princess book you like us to read to you?"

"Princess Amelia!" She nodded.

"Alright well you know how even though she was friends with the mice and the birds, she fell in love with the prince and they lived happily ever after. A girlfriend and boyfriend would be like the princess and the prince."

"So…I'm a mouse?" She asked.

"No- I meant…" John sighed. "The relationship between a girlfriend and a boyfriend is different from a brother and a sister."

"Why com- I mean how come?" She asked with a small voice.

"Well…"

"Cuz you said the prince and the girl loved each other. I love Dean. Dean loves me, right?"

"Of course I do kiddo." Dean said. "It's just…"

"I don't want her to come till 10!" She said suddenly with damp eyes. "I don't want her to come at all!"

"Becca calm down." John said.

"It's okay Dad." Dean said. "I got it." John nodded and went to check on Sam's dish washing. Dean sat on the couch and leaned over placing his sister on his lap.

"I don't want you to have another girl friend. Then who'll play with me and Sammy?" The tears were just at the brink at that point.

"I'll still play with you guys." Dean said. "I promise."

"B-but what about other girl?"

"Her names Stephanie and yeah, she's my friend in special way. But you're my sister. You're the most important girl in the whole wide world." He grabbed a tissue off of the counter and wiped her eyes. "Okay?"

"Kay. But I don't have to like _her_ do I?"

"No, you don't have to like anyone you don't want to." Dean said. "But I do want you to be nice to her."

"Kay…I guess…"

"Plus I mean I think you might like her." Dean said. "You know that ice cream store across from the park.

"Yeah." She said

"Her Dad owns that place."

Becca gasped. "Her daddy OWNS all of that ice cream."

"Yeah Becca Anne."

"That's the coolest." She said.

"How we doing out here?" John asked, returning with Sam right behind him.

"We're good, right Becca?" Dean said.

"Daddy, Dean's friend's daddy owns the ice cream store. Isn't that cool."

"Sure is little girl." John said, happy the drama seemed to be over.

"Sammy isn't that cool?" She asked.

"Yeah Bex, its downright amazing." Luckily his sarcasm was lost on her.

"When is she gonna get here?" Becca asked Dean.

"I don't know Becca Anne. I have to call her first." Dean said. "But we're gonna have to work on some school stuff." He caught his father's eye assure him that he remembered they were supposed to be studying.

"You've got to be getting to bed anyway little girl." John said picking her up and placing Becca on his shoulder.

"Aw! No fair, I was gonna get free ice-cream." She pouted a little.

"Not at bedtime you're not. Maybe later." John offered.

"Okay." She caved. He put her down and she went over and hugged Sam's leg. "Night Sammy."

"Night Kiddo." He said ruffling his sisters hair a little "I love you."

"I love you too." She giggled.


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: So a while back I had a request for something like this chapter and I thought it was a good idea and would kind of work in this story. It includes another character of mine. Hope you like it

"Hi." Becca said sitting next to the boy. "What's your name?" When he didn't respond she shrugged. "Mine's Becca. Is this your dolly?"

"Go away." The boy finally said.

"But-"

"I don't wanna talk t'nobody and if I did it wouldn't be a girl." He sniffled. "Now go away."

"Are you cryin'?" She asked.

"No." He lied.

"Are you sure because…"

"Said no didn't I?" he cut her off. "Leave me alone."

"Can't." Becca said.

"Why not?" He asked.

"My daddy said to stay out here with you. He and my brothers are helpin' your daddy. He said we should play out here till they're done."

"I told you I don't play with little girly babies. No matter what their stupid _daddies_ say."

Becca crossed her arms. "Well I'm not a girly baby. _You're_ the one playing with dollies and if my daddy heard you talking like that you'd be crying a lot more."

"I'm not crying I just-" He looked at the doll. "It's my sister's."

"Where's she?" She didn't get hang out with many kids her age, much less many girls her age.

"She's gone. Her and my mom they…" He snatched the doll away from her. "They're just gone."

"Oh." A few months ago Becca would have probably been confused by this statement. But ever since her father told her the truth about their family she was understanding a lot of things more clearly. Probably more clearly than a seven year old should. "I'm real sorry."

"Not your fault." He wiped a tear quickly. "It's that things fault. It- it's the one that…I cant say it."

"It's okay." Becca said putting her hand on his shoulder the way her brother's had done to her. "You don't have to."

"Well, it's the one that did it and then it went away. I don't know if it's coming back or nothing. What if it does? What if it kills my dad? What if it kills me?"

"Don't worry." Becca smiled a little. "My daddy will make the bad thing go away. It wont bother you anymore. You'll be safe."

For the first time the little boy looked up. "Safe?" She nodded. "Thanks -uh. Sorry I forgot."

"It's okay." She said. She put out her hand "I'm Becca."

For the first time in almost a week the boy showed a hint of a smile. "Hi Becca. My name's Trevor."


	21. Chapter 21

"Daddy

Dean 22

Sam 18

Becca 13

"Daddy?" Becca called.

"Yeah?" John answered without lifting his head from the newspaper.

"Which one of these looks better?" She asked holding up two different shirts.

"What?" He said.

"These two shirts. Which one do you think would look better with these jeans?" She explained before becoming exasperated and walking away with a "Nevermind."

"Since when does she care about what shirt looks better?" John asked his oldest son who was finishing off a bowl of cereal.

"It's her first day of school in this town." Dean said.

"Since when has she cared about the first day of school? She's had plenty of first days and she's never.." He stopped for a second as his daughter walked back in to try and figure out what was it that made her look different. "Do you have on make-up young lady?"

"Just a little." She said. "Some of that powdery stuff and some lip gloss."

"And where did you get that from?"

"The pharmacy. Dean took me last night." She explained.

Dean looked up fast enough to see the questioning look his father was giving him. "It was on the way back from picking up dinner and she said she needed girl stuff. I thought she meant…you know."

"And how exactly did you pay for it Rebecca?" John asked.

"I dipped into the money I've been saving up." She explained, not understanding how this had suddenly become an interrogation worthy of her being called 'Rebecca.'

"Haven't you been saving that money for a new sharpening kit for your blades?"

"Yes sir." Becca said. "But Sam already promised to get me one and-"

"When did you talk to Sam?" He interrupted. "Have you called him?

"I- no. He told me he would before he left." She lied. As per his request, she hadn't told her eldest brother or her father about the pretty recent phone calls she'd been having with her brother since he went off to school.

"Oh." John said. He couldn't decide whether that was a positive or not. He had been the one to give Sam the ultimatum. It _was_ a rash. But he couldn't think of any parent that would allow his child to behave the way that boy did that night and not blow a gasket or two. Still, it hadn't been about that. If it had he would have just punished him for being disrespectful and then tried to hear the boy out. He had to make every effort to make Sam stay. It wasn't safe for him alone out there yet. What he said. It wasn't what he really meant. And the idea that his son would never come back, because of something he'd said…it tore him up inside. _He_ was the reason his son was alone and vulnerable right now. So even though part of him still thought radio silence from the family might convince Sammy to return, he almost wished one of his kids was in touch with him so he wasn't all alone.

"Daddy?" Becca broke his train of thought. She took his sudden quiet state as a form of silent treatment toward her. She couldn't tell what it was toward. Was he mad about the makeup or could he tell she was lying about not calling Sam.

"Wash your face." He said looking back down at his paper. "You're gonna be late."

"Wash my- Dad that's not-" Dean caught her eye and shook his head making her remember her tongue. "Yes sir." She mumbled heading to the bathroom.

"Dad." Dean said. "I don't think she was trying to be sneaky about it or anything. She showed it to me when she came out of the pharmacy and everything. I just didn't think it was a big deal so I didn't tell you about it. The stuff couldn't have been more than five bucks all together and she was so excited about it."

"She's not wearing it Dean." John said simply. As it was John's children had to be mature enough. If he could help it his kids weren't gonna grow up any faster than they had to.


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: Hey guys. I just watched "Chris Angel is a douchebag again and got inspired.

"But it's only ten bucks!" Sam said, pointing at the magazine as verification.

"No Sam." Dean said, changing the channel on the TV.

"Come on Dean." Sam pouted, but his brother didn't budge. "Fine." He threw the magazine on the floor and barely missed hitting his little sister on the head.

"Hey!" She said.

"Oh it didn't even touch you." He said.

"Almost. Dean! Sammy-"

"Becca what'd I tell you about tattling?" Dean said, before turning to Sam. "Apologize."

Sam threw up his hands. "But it didn't even…"

"Apologize." Dean repeated, this time with a little more authority to his voice.

"Fine." He said. "I'm sorry for ALMOST hitting you."

Satisfied with the outcome, Becca stopped pouting and started looking through the magazine next to her.

"She's supposed to be in bed anyway." Sam said under his breath. As he was now a thirteen year old, their father had recently extended his bedtime to ten o'clock. Sam was happy to have more free time. But he was equally as happy to have more free time than Becca, who as a lowly eight year old still had a eight thirty bed time. Which is why Sam considered it a great injustice when Dean would allow their little sister to stay up a little later.

"Not the point." Dean said. The truth of the matter was that when they were staying tiny hotel rooms, it was pretty much impossible to have separate bed times. The choices were: put them both to bed at eight thirty and turn off the TV for the night (basically ending the night for himself as well) or let them both stay up until 10 (in which case Becca would normally dose off at about nine-fifteen anyway). He used to allow Sam the same courtesy when he was Becca's age, but obviously (at least in Sammy's opinion) that was totally different.

"What's a _wamd_?' Becca asked shaking Dean out of his thoughts.

"What's up?" He asked.

"A wamd? What is it?" She repeated.

"Dunno Becca Anne." Dean said.

"There's no such thing as a wamd." Sam said. "She probably just made it up."

"I did not!" She said. "Dean! Sammy-"

"Becca." Dean said.

"I know." She looked down. "No tattlin'."

She looked so cute that he had to smile. "Now where did you hear the word."

"I didn't." She said.

"Told you she made it up." Sam said.

"I didn't make it up." Becca said. "I read it." She picked up the magazine and carried it over to Dean, dropping it in his lap. "See. One sta-n-der-red wamd up-on pur-case."

Dean picked her up and put her next to him on the bed. "One Standard _wand _upon purchase."

"Ooh." Becca nodded. "What's a wand?"

"It's a silly stick that's supposed to do magic."

"Hey!" Sam said.

"Like Daddy's old stick from China?" She asked.

"No." Dean said. "Not like that. Its just a bunch of geeks fooling a bunch of other geeks out of their parents hard earned money."

"It's cool and it's hard! Its like an art!" Sammy said. "You don't know what you're talking about Dean. You've never seen a magic show."

"You've never seen a magic show either." Dean said, immediately regretting the decision to do so.

"That's why I've just _got _to go to the one tomorrow!" Sam said, just the way Dean expected he would. He kicked himself for teeing his little brother up for round to of an argument he's just ended. "It's only ten bucks Dean. Ten bucks to see a magic show AND get a free wand! That's like the greatest deal ever Dean. I've got to go."

"Me too?" Becca asked.

"No way!" Sam said. "Its not for kids."

"I'm not a kid!"

"You are too." Sam said.

"Well if I'm a kid you are too!" She said.

"Nope." Sam said looking at the magazine ad. "Says right here. Adult ticket, ten dollars. Kids twelve and under, free. And by kids they really mean _babies_."

"I'm NOT a baby!" Becca huffed.

"Sammy quit picking on Becca or you can't go to the show." Dean said.

"I wasn't pick- wait I can go?" Sam said with a smile.

"On one condition." Dean said.

"Anything. Dean I'll do anything." Sam said.

"You gotta take Becca with you."

"What?" Sam asked. "Come on Dean."

"That's the deal Sammy. Take it or leave it." Dean really wanted him to take it. Like he'd said, kids her age got in free so it was basically five dollars each. John had left them with a certain amount of money for the week, but if he skipped lunch for two days it would even out. Hell, he could find a bar in that Podunk town he could hustle up ten dollars easy. And that was a sacrifice he was totally willing to make for two whole hours of sibling free time in the impala. No arguing or bickering or name calling. Just him, his tunes, and his baby. If that wasn't magic, Dean didn't know what was.


	23. Chapter 23

A/N: hey I know I have many things to update but I hadn't done a chapter for this one in a while so I figured it was more than time. I hope you like it!

John Winchester stared down the nose of a loaded gun. Of course it did happen to be his gun and he was only checking it, but it still wasn't a welcome feeling. Especially since it was kind of a metaphor for how his world had been in the past couple of months (3 to be exact). He'd always told his kids to be careful when they were checking the weapons but lately with one of the missing, he hadn't really been able to have the care for his own life as he used to. Well, Sam wasn't exactly "missing." He knew exactly where he was (he'd visited him without actually seeing him 3 times already) but he was missing from their family.

"Daddy?" The small voice startled him so much that he almost dropped the gun. It wasn't so much that it was roughly 4AM and his daughter should have been sleeping, or the quiet tone of voice that did it. He hadn't been "Daddy" in quite some time, a time frame he couldn't help but equate with his youngest son's departure. There was a certain tension between him and his two remaining children. While both were clearly upset, Dean handled it in the way he'd always done with real troubles and bothers. He focused on his training and tried his hardest to appear fine. A joke here, a slutty waitress there and all the food he could possibly eat. But John'd known him too well not to read into the side glances or light sighs that he often let out accidentally. Becca was far less subtle. She'd been more quiet and reserved than ever before. Questions were answered, but his normally talkative little girl shared little else. Other parents might have taken this as angry defiance, but once again he knew his children.

John wasn't naive enough not to recognize the fact that they both placed at least some of the blame for Sam's absence on their father, but that wasn't where Becca's silence was coming from. She'd never done well outside of her comfort zone. It always took her the longest to get used to stays without him with one of the few friends the family had. Dean's easy going attitude and the knowledge that (while the person they'd been left in the care of was an adult) he was in charge of his brother and sister made him more calm in the face of new situations. Sam's eagerness to please and happiness in the face of anything even seemingly "normal" (even if that "normal" was a preist who was packing heat) helped him get through the short stays away from his father. But it had always taken Becca longer. She didn't like new or different and she hated not knowing ever since she was a little girl.

Turning to face her, John could still see that same little girl now. "Hey, what're you doing up?"

She chewed on the inside of her lip for a second before looking down. "He's- he's not back yet."

"Dean's just over at the bar playing some pool." He said.

"Not Dean." She corrected.

He knew that's who she'd meant. "Becca…"

"He's not back yet." She repeated, her voice breaking just a little. "And I'm starting to think he's not gonna come back."

John sighed. "Come over here." He said. She made her way over slowly and he pulled her into a hug. "He doesn't belong at that school. Sometimes people need to live through a mistake before they can understand that they've made one."

"Well what if somebody makes a mistake- a huge one- and all they'd have to do is take it back. Say they're sorry. Even if its hard, don't you think they should try?" she asked cautiously.

John couldn't help but think she wasn't exactly talking about Sam in this situation. He cleared his throat. "He'll be back."

"But you told him not to." It wasn't accusatory. She wasn't placing blame. She was a little girl who couldn't find a solution for a problem and hoped her father was the answer. She needed him to be the answer.

"Hey." They both turned and saw Dean standing in the doorway. "I made enough for that new set of flare guns…What's going on? Why're you up so late Becca Anne, you have a nightmare or something?"

She shook her head. "No."

He scooped up the twelve year old girl like she was nothing. "Alright then let's get you to bed. Dad's busy and we've got training in the morning." That was Dean, always ready to take the pressure off of his father. John loved that his son was so good with his siblings but hated that he'd put so much on him from such a young age. Their voices faded as they both went to bed and once again John was left alone with his guns. He wondered, not for the first time, if that's how he'd end up. If one day he'd drive his other children away too? If Sam was so happy with his new life that he'd stay away from John even if the man apologized. If by becoming a great hunter he'd become the worst father.


	24. Chapter 24

So I'm in the middle of updating two of my other stories and I realized I hadn't written anything for this one in a while. Here's my take on another time Dean would have been more than a big brother. Hope you like it!

For the hundredth time that night Sam Winchester went over the pros and cons of talking to his brother Dean. It wasn't so much talking to Dean, but the topic of conversation that made him nervous. He sighed and made up his mind for the fifth time, but actually getting out of bed this time. Dean was still out on the couch of the apartment their father was renting. Sam went and sat down next to him.

"Hey Sammy." Dean said. "What're you still doing up dude?"

"Nothing." Sam said, picking at his t-shirt. "I was just- I wanted- I mean I..."

"Sam what's wrong?" Dean asked, starting to worry.

"You like Rosy right?" Sam was referring to Dean's current girlfriend. He'd charmed her during second period on their first day of school and by sixth she was already scribbling "R+D4EVER" on all of her books.

"Yeah she's alright." Dean said. "I mean she's got her own car, and she's really good at Spanish."

"So you like smart girls?"

"I do when they let me copy their homework." Dean smiled.

"Dean." Sam sighed.

"What's this all about?"

"Nothing." Sam lied.

"Sammy." Dean said. His tone was clear a clear mixture of 2 parts I'm your big brother, 1 part start talking or I'll kick your ass.

Sam knew that particular tone all too well. He also knew better than to ignore it. "Chloe Union."

"Who's Chloe Union?"

"She's this girl from English class." Sam explained.

"She picking on you or something?" Dean asked.

"No." Sam shook his head. "She hates me! We're working together on this project, but she just sits there and does her work and I do mine and then we switch and look everything over and that's it. An hour in the library and she barely talked to me once, other than when she told me she was gonna go to the bathroom and I said 'Cool' which was SO dumb. It's not cool to go to the bathroom. Everyone goes to the bathroom."

Dean stared at his brother for a second before poking his brother's chest. "Sammy's got a girlfriend! Sammy's got a-"

"She isn't my girlfriend." Sam pouted. "Weren't you listening. She hates me."

"She does not hate you Sam."

"Well she doesn't _like_ me." He said.

"That's because she probably doesn't know _you_ like her." Dean shrugged.

"Well how'd you tell Rosy you liked her?" Sam asked.

"Kissed her in between third and forth period." Dean said simply.

"Really?"

"Yeah, dude." Dean nodded. "Girl's like it when you put yourself out there. It shows you're confident. Chicks dig confidence."

"Confidence." Sam repeated.

He continued repeating the word for the next day. "Confidence." He said sitting down at a table in the library. "Confi-"

"Hey Sam." Chloe interrupted him and started taking her books out.

"Oh, hey Chloe." Sam said, trying for confidence but somehow landing on some kind of weird Disney villain-esque arrogance. She looked at him, a little confused, but just sat down and started working. Sam squirmed in his seat trying to think of confident things to do or say. What would Dean have done in that situation. A thought crossed his mind, but it seemed so ridiculous he almost laughed. But it wasn't that ridiculous, was it? Without giving himself time to chicken out, Sam did the only thing he could think to do.

It was another night of pros and cons for Sam Winchester. This time, when he finally worked up the nerve to talk to his brother, he didn't have to go sit on the couch. He didn't even have to leave the room. It was much later than the night before and Dean had already come into the room they were sharing to go to bed.

"Dean?" Sam whispered. "Dean?"

"Sam? What's wrong?" His brother asked, groggily.

"You asleep?"

"Now Sam what would I be doing sleeping in the middle of the night?" He asked sarcastically.

"Sorry." Sam said.

Dean flicked on the lamp next to his bed. "So what's wrong?"

"I think I screwed up the whole confidence thing." Sam said.

"How do you know?"

"Well I did exactly what you did." Sam explained. "I kissed Chloe to show her how confident I am, and she hurt me."

"What'd she say that hurt you?" Dean asked.

"Nothing. She knocked me off my chair on to the ground and kicked me in...we she just hurt me okay?"

"Well Sammy, each girl is different. You can't do the exact same thing with each girl."

"Why not? You do." Sam said.

"Yeah, I kind of do don't I?" Dean asked, taking it as a complement. "But come on Sam, I'm older than you. I used to be dumb about girls too, but then I grew up. Got some...experience. And now I'm the master. You'll see, just give it some time kid."

"And then I'll be the master? Sam asked.

"No." Dean said. "I'll always be the master. You'll be like my apprentice. Like a jedi, robin, grasshopper kinda thing."

"What?" Sam asked.

"Alright dude lesson 1." Dean started. "Girls like guys that don't spend ALL of their time studying. Batman, Kung Fu, for God's sake Star Wars. These are things you gotta know about."

"Dean no girls I know care about Star Wars."

Dean smiled. "Then those are not the girls you're looking for, young jedi."


End file.
